note: As a special holiday gift to Chris Garcia, I am leaving
his British spellings intact. Chris Garcia is not British;
he isn't even Canadian. However, he may actually be of Latino-Jewish
descent as he claims.)
Like you didn't have Christmas parties to go to?
say that I watched much wrestling this week. I missed TNA
Impact altogether, and I only saw about ten minutes of SmackDown!
which was OK, except that it was another of those episode
that seemed like they were just coasting. It pulled a 2.2,
which is about average for a holiday show. I didn’t
find out what the TNA rating was.
WWE has been trying to get Bret Hart to do an angle to promote
his DVD. Sadly, he’s living in Italy and won’t
be doing one.
than that, there’s not much. With TNA bringing back
Sting, there are a lot of folks who are unhappy with their
pay. Dave Meltzer in the Observer notes that Samoa Joe is
very unhappy with the situation. He’s making almost
nothing, maybe a grand a night if he’s lucky. He could
do far better for cash with Vince, but far better for position
(and eventually for money with WWE) if he stays with being
They built the show around a series of Beat The Clock matches.
Basically, all the guys in the Elimination Chamber matches
wrestled in matches and the fastest win would get in last
in the Chamber though they didn’t do what they did
last year and if anyone lost, the guy who beat them would
take their place.
The first of
these matches was Shawn Michaels vs. Gene Snitsky. Snitsky
is just plain awful. Shawn tried, but he basically had to
fight for two for almost six minutes. Shawn got the pin
with Sweet Chin Music at 5:56. Terrible.
did a great promo with Ric Flair, starting by mocking him
with one of those Cut-Out mouth things that Conan O’Brian
uses of Ric. They had a great line for fake Flair: “I
beat ‘em all: from Ashton Kutcher to Abdullah the
Butcher!" Brilliant. Ric came out and then they had
a little brawl. Fun stuff.
They had Chavo
Guerrero take Chris Masters to the limit. It was a better
match than I can remember Masters having with anyone other
than Michaels or Angle. Chavo was really leading the match
and even used a couple of nice roll-ups. A couple of sweet
DropKicks! Chavo, and Eddie, were way over in this match.
Masters got the MasterLock on Chavo with about 15 seconds
left, but Chavo held on. Masters got the mic and said that
the clock was wrong. Way to go, McInroe! Eddie got a huge
cheer after and Chavo sent Masters out of the ring.
They had Mickie James decorating Trish’s locker, and
Trish came in. They chat for a little, then James points
out that they’re under mistletoe and the two of them
kiss. Oh Mother-Freakin’ Yeah!
did a funny angle with Angle. They had him talk about how
the Afghanistan soldiers were just doing their jobs, and
that he didn’t get paid for winning the Gold Medal
with a broken freakin’ neck. Good point. Then he had
a match with Daivari and Daivari laid down for him, but
Chioda said that wouldn’t happen and Kurt chased him
outside and Kurt got counted out! Nice angle!
you wanted to see the kiss, didn't you?
Not tonight. We're not pandering again until 2006.
They did a contract
signing with Big Show and HHH. This was really good as Hunter
beat down Show, including stabbing him in the eye with the
pen and using it to sign the contract. Nice touch. This
is going better than I expected.
John Cena and
Shelton Benjamin had another decent, though not off-the-charts,
match that at least didn’t have Benjamin job. Shelton
worked fast and dragged good stuff out of Cena. One of the
better spots had to be the one where Shelton did the old
Owen Hart out of an armbar. I miss Owen. Shelton got out
of an attempted FU and they ended up going the time-limit.
They had Carlito
beat Victoria in a match that was weird. Victoria got a
little bit of offense, but really, it was just Carlito getting
one move off and getting the pin. Lame.
They had Kane
take on The Heartthrobs in a match that was basically the
two of them getting Double Chokeslammed and getting pinned
in 28 seconds. He’s in last! This was a weak ending,
but what are you gonna do, he’s in bad shape and they
really can’t do much. The whole Beat-The-Clock thing
was a lot weaker than it was last year.
They had Michaels
come out and they basically have him talk about Bret Hart.
Shawn says that he did what he did and that’s that
but he also wants to move on and that it was time for Vince
to let him go. This led to Vince being unhappy and then
walking out. Not much happened in the end, but it basically
said that the two of them will be fighting either at the
Royal Rumble or WrestleMania. That could be interesting.
that’s the week. Not much to it. I’ll have the
Year-End edition of the Awards Next Monday and then the
start of Year Four the next day. You’ve got a couple
of days to send your votes for Best Face, Best Hell and
FanboyPlanet’s Favourite Wrestler.
about today's column in the forums!