Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name
is Chris and Fred Armisen is a funny man.
must stick together.
After Tuesday's special,
they opened with a recap of UT getting driven into the stuff.
The set was still all busted up and they had Orton come
out. He did some jawing that I genuinely didn’t care
about, though he did point out that he was the sole Survivor
at Survivor Series three years in a row, which had somehow
slipped my mind. He demanded a World Title match.
had a battle royal between the second-rate tag teams. The
Dicks, London & Kendrick, Animal & Heidenreich,
Scotty 2 Hotty & Funaki, Nunzio & Big Vito and The
Mexicools. This wasn’t great, but it was cool to watch
London and Spany work with Psicosis and Super Crazy. A great
spot was London throwing Spanky into the air so he could
hit a HUGE Double Dropkick on the Mexicools. The Mexicools
managed to win by eliminating The Dicks.
and Melina watched this whole thing. Melina is hot.
blamed himself for the attack on Rey on Tuesday. He said
it wouldn’t have happened if he had been there. He
also said he didn’t like Rey, but SmackDown! needed
to stick together.
match of the night, William Regal and Chris Benoit had a
really fun match that reminded me a lot of WCW Saturday
Night. Booker did commentary. Lots of good stuff, like Benoit
going for the Sharpshooter and Regal not going for the ropes,
but kicking and punching his way out, and Regal getting
to use his awesome ShoulderBreaker. Booker was really good
in the role of commentator.
used not one, but TWO T-bone Suplexes and Benoit used Germans
and a Half-Nelson Suplex. Regal was kinda chumped out by
having Regal in the Crossface for like ten seconds before
he tapped. Benoit went after Booker and Sharmell came after
him with a chair, but Chris ran her off. Really good stuff.
Regal with his Pilates...
The Randy Orton vs. Matt Hardy showed that
even with Matt not really getting a push, he’s still
over. Matt hit a big Flying Forearm and then a Plancha and
a Side Effect. Sadly he missed a Moonsault and that allowed
Randy to get the RKO for the win. The lights went out and
the Undertaker did the talking thing. Smoke and Lightning,
you know the drill. End this feud!
Simon Dean did an interview saying he wasn’t
afraid of the Boogeyman, but then he showed up eating worms
when Simon went to unveil his new product. Lame. They had
their match, after Security dragged Dean back to the ring,
and the only good thing I can say about it is that the Reverse
PowerSlam move the Boogeyman uses is kinda cool.
Bobby Lashley is a bad, bad man. The match
with Sylvan was a nice display of the power the guy possesses,
but they really need to give him a different move set from
Batista if they’re gonna make something of him. He
used a nice Delayed Vertical Suplex. Sylvan hit a Top-Rope
DropKick which actually knocked Lashley off his feet, but
once Bobby hit the SpineBuster and the Dominator, it was
The Main Event was awful. They had JBL and
Rey taking on Kane and Big Show and with three lummoxes
it’s hard to get anything going, even for Rey who
had to sell his back injury. JBL left the match after a
fake eye-poking, and Rey took a beating. Double Chokeslam
ended the match with Show and Kane on top. They were gonna
slam him again, but Batista made the save.
with the exception of the awesome Regal vs. Benoit match,
this show sucked.
Impact and Some News
about today's column in the forums!