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Wrestling Today's Date:

Falls Count Anywhere


We must stick together.
Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and Fred Armisen is a funny man.

After Tuesday's special, they opened with a recap of UT getting driven into the stuff. The set was still all busted up and they had Orton come out. He did some jawing that I genuinely didn’t care about, though he did point out that he was the sole Survivor at Survivor Series three years in a row, which had somehow slipped my mind. He demanded a World Title match.

They had a battle royal between the second-rate tag teams. The Dicks, London & Kendrick, Animal & Heidenreich, Scotty 2 Hotty & Funaki, Nunzio & Big Vito and The Mexicools. This wasn’t great, but it was cool to watch London and Spany work with Psicosis and Super Crazy. A great spot was London throwing Spanky into the air so he could hit a HUGE Double Dropkick on the Mexicools. The Mexicools managed to win by eliminating The Dicks.

MNM and Melina watched this whole thing. Melina is hot.

JBL blamed himself for the attack on Rey on Tuesday. He said it wouldn’t have happened if he had been there. He also said he didn’t like Rey, but SmackDown! needed to stick together.

In the match of the night, William Regal and Chris Benoit had a really fun match that reminded me a lot of WCW Saturday Night. Booker did commentary. Lots of good stuff, like Benoit going for the Sharpshooter and Regal not going for the ropes, but kicking and punching his way out, and Regal getting to use his awesome ShoulderBreaker. Booker was really good in the role of commentator.

Helping Regal with his Pilates...
Regal used not one, but TWO T-bone Suplexes and Benoit used Germans and a Half-Nelson Suplex. Regal was kinda chumped out by having Regal in the Crossface for like ten seconds before he tapped. Benoit went after Booker and Sharmell came after him with a chair, but Chris ran her off. Really good stuff.

The Randy Orton vs. Matt Hardy showed that even with Matt not really getting a push, he’s still over. Matt hit a big Flying Forearm and then a Plancha and a Side Effect. Sadly he missed a Moonsault and that allowed Randy to get the RKO for the win. The lights went out and the Undertaker did the talking thing. Smoke and Lightning, you know the drill. End this feud!

Simon Dean did an interview saying he wasn’t afraid of the Boogeyman, but then he showed up eating worms when Simon went to unveil his new product. Lame. They had their match, after Security dragged Dean back to the ring, and the only good thing I can say about it is that the Reverse PowerSlam move the Boogeyman uses is kinda cool.

Bobby Lashley is a bad, bad man. The match with Sylvan was a nice display of the power the guy possesses, but they really need to give him a different move set from Batista if they’re gonna make something of him. He used a nice Delayed Vertical Suplex. Sylvan hit a Top-Rope DropKick which actually knocked Lashley off his feet, but once Bobby hit the SpineBuster and the Dominator, it was all over.

The Main Event was awful. They had JBL and Rey taking on Kane and Big Show and with three lummoxes it’s hard to get anything going, even for Rey who had to sell his back injury. JBL left the match after a fake eye-poking, and Rey took a beating. Double Chokeslam ended the match with Show and Kane on top. They were gonna slam him again, but Batista made the save.

Really, with the exception of the awesome Regal vs. Benoit match, this show sucked.

TNA Impact and Some News


Talk about today's column in the forums!

Chris Garcia

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