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Falls Count Anywhere

11-02-05

I'm both hot and talented
Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and the biggest thing since sliced bread is Arrested Development Season 2.

SmackDown!
Not a perfect show, but a fairly good one. They opened up with the review of the SD! vs. RAW angle. I liked the angle a lot and I can't wait until they start going full bore on things. They then opened things in the ring with Christian and The Peep Show. They basically started with Rey Mysterio, Hardcore Holly and Matt Hardy doing promos talking about wanting to be the ones who got voted into the match at Taboo Tuesday. It wasn't a great promo, but they did put some strong attention on the feud, which I like.

Christian vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy vs. JBL vs Hardcore Holly was a fun match that I rather liked. There was some strong double teaming stuff, including a Poetry in Motion on Christian. Matt and Rey did a bunch of double team work which was nice to see. They did that series where everybody hits their finisher in a row, which is a good series. The spot where Rey does the Flying Body Press and JBL catches him for the fallaway slam is a little stale since they've been doing it every time the two of them wrestle…or any time JBL wrestles a smaller guy. Rey hit a hurrancanrana for a pin on Christian. This went fast, which I liked.

They showed Booker the footage of the Benoit title switch and that led him to say that he was going to give Benoit another shot at the belt. He also said that Sharmell would apologize to Chris Benoit.

Piper was walking about and ran into Ace Cowboy Bob Orton backstage. They jawed about Piper being the reason that Orton ever got into a main event. This was followed by the new Juniors playing a prank on Simon Dean. That was strange and it doesn't really help get over the Juniors at all.

They had Sampson take on Pitbull Patterson, doing a Harlem Globetrotters spot with a box of Lucky Charms. They brawled outside and Tazz got involved. This would have been OK if it was anything better than low comedy. They need to make this work somehow.
Not the first time she's faked it.

Booker T and Sharmell came to the ring and called out Chris Benoit. Booker apologized, saying that he didn't have any idea until he saw the video this week. Booker said that Sharmell had to apologize; Sharmell gave a highly faked apology and questioned Booker's masculinity. Sharmell then said she had one last work, which allowed Booker to attack with the US title. This was a solid piece of booking, but it wasn't great like the end of their match last week. It was an interesting turn and it took a while, but really, if you know anything about WWE booking of late, you saw how this was going.

MNM took on LoD, The Mexicools, and Regal and Burchill. MNM tried to give Animal a double suplex, but instead he turned the tables on the two of them. Psychosis hit a corkscrew plancha onto MNM outside the ring. This looked pretty good so far. A lot of the Mexicools in this one, which I liked. Burchill hit a sweet Fisherman's Buster. This guy is good, but he's being wasted. The Tolands kept the LoD from hitting the Doomsday Device. That allowed MNM to hit the Snapshot for the win.

Nunzio and Vito asked for a tag team title but Theodore R. Long said that they'd have to take on Bobby Lashley next week. The Boogeyman was in the closet. That bit sucks hard.

Batista and Eddie Guerrero talked a bit where Batista thanked him for taking the bullet for him last week. Big Dave also asked if the Cow Palace was familiar to Eddie after he won the title there in that great match with Brock Lesnar in February 2004. I was there and it was better than anything I'd ever seen in person before. Batista gave Eddie a present, a low rider, and said that Latino Heat is back.

Ken Kennedy teamed up with the Ortons to take on Eddie, Big Dave and Roddy Piper. This was a match that didn't look good on paper, and it was OK, but the big deal was Eddie and Kennedy working together early on with Eddie in control. Kennedy will be so much better if he keeps working with Guerrero.

The crowd was big into Piper and he got tagged in by Eddie. Cowboy Bob attacked Roddy from behind. The heels had the advantage for a while and that allowed Bob Orton to give Eddie and Batista some cheap shots. Eddie hit the Triple Verticals on Kennedy and then the Frog Splash, allowing Piper to get the sleeper on Ace Cowboy for the win.

Nice finish, but overall, it wasn't a top-notch match.

NEWS
Lots of talk about Big Kev, Kevin Nash. He had a 'cardiac incident,' which wasn't a heart attack, but it was very scary and most folks say that his career is over at the age of 46. It also wasn't unexpected since his father died of a heart attack at 35.

Jerry Jarrett visited Vince at Titan Towers. No one is sure what was being talked about, but Jarrett isn't happy with TNA and may be looking to get some work with the WWE. This probably doesn't mean that Jeff Jarrett will be coming back, but nothing is impossible.

Opinion on a Troubling RAW
No Full Report on RAW this week, as Taboo Tuesday has officially crashed bad, not that it was going to do any good anyhow.

The big deal of this Monday night was going back to the 1990s by bringing back Vader and Goldust. Goldust was in Coach's corner in the worst hit that Taboo Tuesday could possibly take.
I didn't think we'd use this picture again until we ran his obituary.

Steve Austin isn't coming for Taboo Tuesday. They told him that he was going to be jobbing to The Coach at Taboo Tuesday and that JR wouldn't be brought back. This annoyed Steve and he walked, probably for good, or at least as good as it gets with the WWE. Steve Austin was a major selling point, and they replaced him with Big Dave Batista, the SmackDown! champion.

They had Goldust beat on Funaki, who was brought out to face Coach, and after they beat on Funaki, out came Big Dave, who did a bit of beating. Then they brought out Vader, who looked very out of shape; he's pushing 50 by this point, so it's understandable.

This was a major blow, and even though they delivered a big beat down on Carlito by having Jimmy Snuka, Jim Duggan and Kamala beat on him, it still doesn't give me any hope for the future of the brand. They won't be delivering on the promise of Austin, and they had all sorts of other problems. This show will be hurt by all troubles of losing Austin, Edge and Kane being hurt, and just plain being on a Tuesday night. It's probably a good thing that this is a show on Halloween so that a lot of folks won't be seeing it.

They also released Torrie Wilson, showing the confidence they had in the feud with Ashley and Trish. There's a lot of second-guessing going on right now, and they are in trouble, but they should be trying to get new talent over instead of bringing out old fan faves who just make the product look dated. We're in for some bad times on RAW.

Really, the only things on RAW that were really good were the women's costume contest (which wasn't great, but very fun) and the main event with Shawn Michaels and John Cena. Shawn Michaels is great and he saved the show a little. The match between the two of them was good, with John even working somewhat above himself. and his punches even seem to be improving a bit. Shawn gave his usual solid performance, and when Kurt ran in, that built some good heat.

When Cena had Kurt up for the FU, Shawn gave Cena Sweet Chin Music. It was a strong way to go out of a messed up show, and worse, a show that may signal bad things ahead.

This is one of the shows that's getting the most heat of any show in ages from reporters on the net. First, they lose Christian, then Austin and Torrie. Things are not looking up because when they lost guys like Bret Hart, they had all sorts of things on the horizon. Now, nothin'.

They NEED new hot talent that is booked as on the level with HHH, Shawn Michaels, Kurt Angle and John Cena. Why not Shelton, who has the talent and can get the crowd behind him? They'll probably go with the SD! feud shortly, but once that's done, what's left?

It's a worryin' time.

That's all for this week. I'll have a look at Taboo Tuesday and more fall-out from the wildest week in ages.

Talk about today's column in the forums!

Chris Garcia

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