Welcome to Falls
Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and Rest Ye Well, Charlie
for saying the "F" word.
I couldn’t watch all of SmackDown!, first because
I had a lot of writing to do. Second because it was just
too bad. I did rewatch with fast-forward later, and it still
wasn’t very good.
opened things up with a video of No Mercy, which made it
look like a better show. They showed all sorts of people
being ‘shocked’ by the Undertaker burning thing,
but they must have had to look through a lot of footage
to find it. Orton came out with Ace Cowboy Bob and he said
that now the Undertaker was done and he was ready to focus
on the World Heavyweight Title. Eddie Guerrero came out
and said that he wasn’t done with Batista. Orton asked
for advice so that he could do the opposite and actually
beat Batista. Eddie and Randy had a match set up for later
in the show. I think they should have saved that match,
but I guess they really needed a main event.
The Orlando Jordan
vs. Chris Benoit match at least had an interesting story.
They claimed that Jordan had been studying all the ways
to get out of the Crossface, and he actually did a Handstand
to get out of it once, which was really smart. Benoit then
used the Sharpshooter to get the win. Not a really good
match, and they need to end this feud nowish, but solid
angle is really annoying. I just don’t like Sharmell.
In a weird match,
The Mexicools teamed with Heidenreich and Animal to beat
Paul Burchill, Steve Regal and MNM. There were same nice
thought spots in this one, including a great one where Melina
distracted Psicosis and then Christy Hemme, who is paired
with LoD for some reason, distracted Nitro. The required
brawling happened and then SuperCrazy got the win by giving
Mercury a Moonsault. The Tolands then attacked the Mexicools.
This is the laziest writing ever. They’ve never explained
that the Mexicools turned, nor did they set up something
between the actual participants of the match. Just plain
a Peep Show with Stacey Kiebler, which is far less impressive
than it sounds. They talked about the scandal with Jennifer
Aniston and they brought out Jillian Hall. They really need
to storyline her getting that thing removed. Awful.
vs. JBL vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Booker T wasn’t a bad
match, though there were issues. It seemed a little plodding
at times, especially when Rey wasn’t working. Booker
had a lot of fire, which was nise. Rey hit a Springboard
Senton which was cool, and he and JBL worked nicely together.
They’re one of the few Big Man-Little Combos that
really work. Christian hit a Flying Body Press on JBL, but
he turned it into a Fallaway Slam. They took a break and
when they came back we saw the Fallaway Slam that JBL tried
on Rey which he turned into a nice DDT. JBL controlled a
lot of this match, which is really a mistake.
was Sharmell tripping Rey and Booker getting the pin. Not
bad, but not great. Benoit then did a good little piece
where he said that he hoped he didn’t get tripped
by Sharmell like Rey had. They’re either gonna turn
Sharmell and have her lead someone against Booker or they’re
gonna reluctantly turn Booker. Either way, I’m not
among the caring.
Kennedy did his
ring announcing bit, then said that he didn’t have
a match because everyone was afraid of him and he simply
came out to give the fans a thrill. Nice touch and I figure
they’ll have Holly jump him for a revenge match. I’m
seeing a lot of parallels between this feud and the HHH/Henry
Godwinn feud of 1996.
Nunzio was fed to Bobby Lashley. He tossed Nunzio all around
the ring. I really see something in Lashley and they’re
building him up as a heel, which is smart.
the Boogeyman into Theodore R. Long’s office. Palmer
Cannon did the introduction. They don’t need to bring
him in yet and he’s not going to be effective against
and Randy had a decent match against one another. I like
both these guys and I know they’ve got the short end
of the stick. The match went back and forth, and Eddie was
a big time face with this crowd. Again, lazy booking as
they really didn’t do a turn, but when you’re
in a heavily pro-Mexican town, it’s hard to get these
guys to come off as heels.
a bit where Eddie used the tag rope to choke Orton, Eddie
hit a Vertical Suplex, but Ace Cowboy Bob jumped up and Eddie
got him away, but that gave Randy the chance to hit a beautiful
drop kick and send us to commercial. When we got back, Randy
was in control. Randy got a nice BackBreaker in on Eddie.
Eddie found himself trapped in a sleeper, but then started
to fight out of it as the crowd was really into him. Eddie
managed to hit the Triple Verticals, but then when he went
for the Frog Splash, Cowboy Bob tossed him off the top and
got DQ’ed. The pair of Ortons destroyed Eddie until
Batista made the save. Batista-Eddie vs. The Ortons next week.
That’s a predictable finish.
Good show, showing all the reasons why TNA has the talent
to take on the WWE, but not the funds nor the timeslot.
They opened with Monty Brown taking on two guys. The crowd
is into Monty, and he’s a decent talker, but the reason
he’s turned down the WWE is that he’s only 6’2
or so and wouldn’t have the same gravitas that he
has here towering over the little guys. This was slightly
more than a squash, as the two guys he was battling got
some moves in, but the pounce and then the Money Bomb, or
whatever it’s called got the double pin. Lance Hoyt
came out, who would fit in with the WWE, and did a promo
saying that he was going to beat him at the PPV next week.
They talked about
Jushin Thunder Liger coming in and taking on Samoa Joe.
There’s no way they should let Joe lose that match,
but with Liger, I can’t see hwo they could do any
Traci came out
with Matt Bentley to take on David Young, who had Simon
Diamond with him. Typical good TNA X-division match. The
sort of back and forth they do makes everyone look good,
but the crowd doesn’t buy the guys as serious contenders.
It’s only people like Joe, Brown, Raven, Daniels,
Styles and Jarrett that are seen as big deals. This ended
with Bentley getting the Superkick and the 1-2-3. Petey
Williams than ran in and gave Bentley the Canadian Destroyer.
This was awesome and the crowd loved it. Traci then almost
got kissed by Petey, but she slapped him and before he could
give her the Destroyer, Chris Sabin ran in and took out
Williams. Good stuff in the ending with a non-memorable,
but still good match.
been a lot of attention on the funeral package they did
for 3-D. I thought it was OK, with Jim Mitchell being the
highlight, but most of it was kinda silly weak. I loved
the way the Canadian Heels were all there with their hockey
sticks. OK, that was brilliant, but even when America’s
Most Wanted came up to talk, I wasn’t sold on it.
I’m really of the opinion that they should just stick
to the ring and give us amazing matches and not do too many
skits, but it they’re all like this, it might draw
the casuals in more.
Rhino took on
Sabu in a match that was like 1999 all over again. Sabu
looked good, better than usual, and Rhino has always been
undervalued. This was basically done so that all the guys
in the four way match at the PPV could face off, and Abyss
and Jeff Hardy ran in and they brawled a little before they
were held back.
Iron Man challenge was The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels
taking on three guys who he had to beat in 15 minutes. The
first was Shark Boy and that took about three minutes before
Daniels got The Angel Wings for the pin. This brought out
Sonjay Dutt. He busted all his dope moves, swinging and
spinning like a madman.
one point, he went for the Hindu Press, but Daniels moved
and Dutt rolled and ended up on his feet. They sadly took
their commercial break right in the middle of Dutt’s
with a little more than three minutes left, Daniels got
the pin and in came AJ Styles. The two of them fought for
a bit, but Daniels slithered away after the time limit of
the challenge was up. I still think they should have had
Daniels pin Styles to prove that he could do it, but what
are you going to do?
Good night of
I had bought the Ultimate Warrior DVD and watched it during
the commercials. That proved to be a lot better than much
of this show, with a couple of very interesting exceptions.
Sadly, I didn’t finish it all and the Warrior DVD
review will have to wait for another day…along with
the Ring of Honor DVD I picked up for a mere $9.99!
Vince came out
and heeled for a while. It was typical Vince talking about
Austin coming to Sac-to and they played a ‘Let’s
Humiliate J.R.’ video package. There’s no question
that he’s coming back now. Here’s what happened:
the WWE was really ready to completely dump Jim Ross, who
also needed some medical work, but no one who had the stuff
could be found (and Joey Styles is under contract more so
he won’t go anywhere else) so they made it into an
angle. All signs point to JR coming back, and the way Coach
called matches here, it can’t be soon enough. JR suffered
some colon problems, believed to be either a perforation
or a rupture, and required surgery. Get Well Soon, You Mighty
came to Vince backstage and asked to be Number One Contender.
Hurricane started harping on why Vince fired JR and Vinny
had Kurt jump him. He just beat the tar out of the little
guy. Vince then had some words with Bischoff saying how
high expectations are for Taboo Tuesday. He announced that
Kurt would face Cena, plus a third man would be chosen from
the winner of two matches: Big Show vs. Edge and Carlito
vs. Shawn Michaels. The third man in the running (the audience
will vote starting next week) will be the winner of a Battle
Royale. Nice way to set up the night and give a couple of
matches some weight.
Show beat Edge. I really think they should hold off on giving
Edge the big run at the title until he can carry someone
like The Big Show to a decent match. What’s that you
say? Cena can’t do it, so why should Edge? Because
Cena’s Hogan-level in a while while Edge has the reek
of years of mid-card on him.
worked Show’s arm, lots of near-Choke Slams, and eventually
Edge hit a Spear which Coach called a gore, not remembering
that Edge and Rhyno (now Rhino) are two different guys.
Edge went for the Briefcase, but JBL’s music hit and
that distracted him long enough for Show to get the Chokeslam.
So NOW they’re finally starting the SD! vs. RAW feud
they set up so nicely two weeks ago.
Cabana started with Carlito making fun of Jim Ross, and
that brought out Mick Foley. Mick was psyched to meet someone
with worse hair than himself. They went back and forth a
bit until Linda McMahon came on screen. Linda made it sound
like JR’s surgery was the result of the low blow.
This was the best she’s been in anything in a long
while. Carlito and Mick then went at it again. Carlito said
that Mick’s not cool. Mick agreed, and said that Carlito
should be more worried about Shawn Michaels. This ended
a little flat, but it was OK.
match of the night. Shawn Michaels beat Carlito. Mick Flores,
the Pimpin’ Don of Hope Ave., asked me what Carlito’s
finisher was. I honestly don’t know. Carlito does
mostly basic offense, but it’s basic and effective
in gaining heat for the face’s comeback. There’s
a big difference between John Cena’s basic work and
Carlito’s. Carlito got a lot of near-falls, but Shawn
made a great comeback. There was a great spot where Shawn
was trying to suplex Carlito to the outside, but he also
ended up going over the top. That perfectly set up the commercial
we got back, Carlito used a Downward Spiral-like move for
a near-fall. Michaels came back and they traded a bit. Like
spot where Carlito ducked the Superkick and then put him
on his shoulders, but Shawn turned it into a roll-up. Ref
bump, Michaels to the steel post, Carlito tried to hit him
with the chair, but Shawn moved, back in the ring, Carlito
had the chair and HBK Superkicked it into his face for the
pin. Really good match. Carlito understands how to work
a match, even if his offense isn’t great, he knows
how to build a match simply, which is good. Shawn was great,
as always. Coach’s call on this match really set it
was walking to the back, Ric Flair came out. They shook
hands and Flair went to the ring. Flair said that he lit
a fire under HHH when he came and that HHH had decided that
it was time for Flair to retire. Nobody puts Baby in a corner…I
mean nobody tells Ric Flair what to do. He told all sorts
of stories, true ones, in fact, and said he ain’t
afraid of HHH. He then ripped the bandage off of his head
and blood flowed, so he wiped it all over his face. This
was a good segment and the match between the two of them
should be solid.
hot), Torrie (looking OK), and Candace Michelle (looking
hot) took on Mickie James (looking Hot), Ashley (looking
Very Hot) and Trish Stratus (Looking EXCESSIVELY HOT!!!).
Trish and Victoria started off and Trish did an awesome
Spinning Handstand Head Scissors that just ruled. Mickie
James tagged in and hit a Crossbody, a Hurrancanrana and
she started celebrating, but was rolled up by Victoria.
Mickie went ape and hit Victoria with the Stratusfaction.
I think I see where they are going with this and it’ll
probably be a disappointment.
we goin' now, Trish, huh, huh?
came to the ARCO Arena and the place just ‘bout Ex-Ploded!
He said that he was annoyed the Ross got fired. Stephanie
came out and they faced off. Steph was really bad here.
Austin even pointed it out at times. They set-up Austin
vs. Coach at Taboo Tuesday with Austin’s career vs.
JR getting his job back. Austin went to the Announce Position
and poured beer in Coach’s hat. Not a bad segment,
but would have been better with Vince instead of Steph…or
maybe without a McMahon at all!
This was one
of the worst Battle Royales in ages. Basically, it was Kane
just running through people to showcase his return. Just
awful. He eliminated Masters to take the win. Cena was on
announcing and even he was better than Coach. Kane eliminated
Masters to get the win.
Not a good show,
really. They’ve set up way too much for Taboo Tuesday,
and I’m doubting it’ll draw. We’ll have
all for this week. Keep watching the skies!
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