Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and Devlin is the Greatest
Stuntman Who Ever Lived!
Devlin Made Me Do It.
If ever there was a show that showcased the fact that a
PPV was going to fail, it was SmackDown! It was so sad because
they had some good stuff going leading into No Mercy, but
they bungled it.
Palmer Cannon and Theodore R. Long were
in the ring and said that the Six Man match that was supposed
to be on RAW will be the Main Event. The Ortons came out
and said they were gonna beat up the Undertaker at No Mercy
and Piper later in the show. Piper came out and clocked
them with a lead pipe. Not a good segment and it really
did not build towards the PPV.
strange match set-up, Booker T pinned Orlando Jordan after
Sharmell pulled Jordan’s leg out from under him when
Booker was up in the Suplex. This match hurt Booker's credibility.
He barely got any offense in against a guy that Benoit has
been regularly destroying in less than a minute.
Kennedy came out and did guest commentary for the Sylvan
Grenier vs. Bob Holly match since he had to face Holly at
the PPV. Kennedy was great on the mic and at one point,
Holly faced off with him and pushed him down.
the match, Kennedy announced Hardcore Holly as the loser.
Kennedy is such a great talker that this segment was the
only one that really had me interested in what would come
out of it at No Mercy. He has a great future, especially
if his work in the ring comes along as fast as I’m
thinking it will. He’s a good wrestler, and if he
can pick up Main Event style, he’ll be unstoppable.
The New LoD took on Paul Burchill and William
Regal. This was a bad idea, as Burchill and Regal could
really be something. This was bad, and the ending was MNM
running in and Melina ordered a Snapshot on Christy, which
was delivered. I will give Hemme credit for really trying
to learn and for being willing to do what the WWE asks of
her. This didn’t build any interest for me in their
match at No Mercy, since the only thing I care about in
that feud is that I want MNM to get the Tag Team Titles
back so that they can make a run at getting their heat back.
Guerrero did an interview saying that he was Batista’s
friend. It was an OK interview, and Guerrero is still way
over, but it didn’t build any interest because they’ve
so muddled the match and any reason for it.
Ortons' match with Roddy Piper was pretty much what I expected.
They wrestled very little and Randy was in control. A nice
bit was Randy was about to give Piper the RKO, but Ace Cowboy
Bob stopped him and said that he wanted to finish him off
himself. The Undertaker’s call went off and the crowd
popped. Piper used the distraction to pin the Cowboy. The
Undertaker came on screen as a coffin was rolled out. When
it was opened, they had one of those dolls that looked just
like the Ortons. Not good.
There was a strange bit on the Bob Lashley
vs. Simon Dean feud that worked during Bob’s match
with Eddie Craven. Simon said that Lashley broke his hand,
thereby taking away his power advantage, meaning that he’d
have to rely on his superior conditioning. That lead him
to doing a number of squats at ringside. Lashley then had
Craven on his shoulders and did some squats. I loved that!
A nice suplex and Simon tried to grab Lashley’s leg,
but he stomped on Simon’s broken hand and hit the
Dominator for the win. Nice touch segment for a match that
no one cared about.
The main event six man match was pretty
solid. Guerrero was on the heel side with JBL and Christian
against Rey Mysterio, Batista and Chris Benoit. After they
joined the match in progress, which is one thing I didn’t
miss about 1980s wrestling, Christian and Benoit were going
at it in the ring with Benoit in control. He went for the
crossface, but Christian got out and tagged Eddie. Eddie
and Benoit went at it with Eddie on top. Batista tagged
in and Eddie tried a leglock and ended up having Big Dave
power out of it. He Press Slammed Eddie, who appreciated
the move and then tagged JBL. Batista tagged Rey and he
took a hard kick when he came in.
commercial break happened and when we came back, Christian
was working over Rey with a GutBuster. Christian looks good
working with Rey in a way that most guys don’t. I’m
not sure what it is. Rey eventually cameback with a Bulldog
and tagged in Batista, but in a strange piece of booking,
Eddie pulled the rope down when JBL went for a Clothesline
From Hell on Batista.
JBL was shocked at what happened and gave a look of What
the Hell? At Eddie. Christian went up top, but Batista caught
him and gave him a Spinebuster for the win.
To say this was utterly unsatisfying would
be an understatement.
Brock Lesnar, fresh off of his win over the WWE, became
the IWGP champion at the Tokyo Dome show. It was supposed
to be a decent match. He’s now the Monster of New
Japan, which really needs a big new star. They’ve
renamed his finisher The Verdict.
I caught some of TNA and I have to say I
liked what I saw. The Chris Daniels Threeway with Austin
Aries and some other guy was really good. The Angel Wings
got Daniels the win in a fast-paced match that was very
much what TNA has that the WWE doesn’t. Some good
dives and a lot of good work. I think Daniels is pushing
40 by now, which is amazing since he gives so much in every
promise of a good PPV goes up in flames...
I’m not going to go into detail on it, since it was
just so bad. They built to a stupid main event and they
delivered a weird ending that makes little to no sense.
lost out to LoD and Christy Hemme when Hemme came off the
ropes and gave Melina the Doomsday Device. They need to
rebuild MNM and fast. They have talent, they have a great
manager and they went from something that was hot and a
sure-fire hit to a failure because they wanted to highlight
Animal after his DVD was such a hit.
did a dumb thing with Lashley vs. Simon. Simon had said
that he’d eat 20 cheeseburgers if he lost and after
two long hard minutes, he got Dominated for the loss. Lashley
actually lost hold of Simon the first time they tried the
finish. They then did a thing where Lashley made him eat
the burgers and Simon ended up puking. Lame, and not funny.
The set-up was pretty good. This isn’t going to help
or hurt Lashley, but they need to do something fast to make
him a star.
vs. Booker vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Christian was an OK match,
but it wasn’t anything special. Sharmell is basically
turning heel and they’ve done too much to pull back,
but it’s not working. They should really find something
better to do with all of them. Benoit got the win with the
Ken Kennedy and Bob Holly had a really good
match, I’d say even better than the Four-Way. Kennedy
is going to be big and he’s got charisma to spare.
After Kennedy hit The Steamroller, they acted like Holly
had broken ribs. Very smart for once and this was the only
time during the entire show that I felt like they had a
clear vision of the future for any of the characters. They
had Sylvan attack Holly after the match, which was weak.
JBL beat Rey Mysterio. Totally bad booking
as they could be pushing Rey towards becoming a contender
by over-coming the odds. Sadly, no.
Ortons vs. Undertaker match was long, and had some moments,
but really, it ended up insulting much of the audience.
Randy took the Last Ride and then UT opened the casket to
put Randy in. Bob sprayed him with the fire extinguisher
to stop that from happening, which allowed Randy to hit
the RKO. Undertaker recovered and stopped the casket lid
from being shut. Undertaker and Randy ended in the casket
and the lid shut. They opened the lid and Taker was set
to choke slam Randy when Bob distracted him and Randy clocked
Undertaker with a chair, allowing the lid to close and the
Ortons to get the win. After that, they poured gasoline
all over the casket and lit it on fire. No one bought that
he was in there. It’s a shame they went that stupid,
because this would have otherwise been an OK match.
In the fastest match of the night when it
came to the style of work, Juventud, who really hasn’t
been around much, beat Nunzio to win the Cruiserweight title.
This match actually worked and it’s what I wish they’d
do more of in the future.
main event was lame. Eddie teased using weapons and he never
did. They did a clean match and it was weak as Batista can't
go in those situations. The crowd went more and more to
Eddie as the match went on. They ended it with Batista getting
a clean pin with a Spinebuster. Eddie had a chance to use
the chair and people booed when he didn’t.
only way they should have done this match with that ending
was if RAW was going to run in, but they didn’t. Here’s
my guess: they are only going to do the SmackDown! feud
on RAW because they need to grow the numbers there more
than on SD!, which is likely going away. They blew a big
PPV here and I don’t see how they’ll rebound
in the short term. Even the things they set up, like Holly
vs. Sylvan, are lame. Kennedy is the one bright spot, and
Lashley might end up being one too. Here’s hopin’.
The first regular RAW on USA turned out to be the return
of The McMahon Show. It wasn’t a bad show overall,
but they had some really weak moments.
with Stephanie McMahon in the ring. She complained about
Steve Austin ruining what should have been their big night
and then when the cue guy was signaling to wrap it up, she
went all Zsa-Zsa on him. She then slapped Lillian Garcia
and pushed the cameraman down. It was not at all a bad segment,
but it was just a sign of what’s important now.
the Clown was back! Rob Conway’s new gimmick is that
he wants to kill legends. It’s called Randy Orton;
look into him. Doink was on the offensive for a while, but
he was dropped with the Ego Trip. Conway then ran down the
legends and started beating on Doink until Eugene ran out
and made the save. Remember when Eugene was a hot property?
They aired a great Flair-HHH video package.
I really wanna see that feud and I want it now. I never
thought I’d say that about a HHH feud.
Cabana featured Angle and Shawn Michaels at first, jawing
at each other about their match. Shawn said that Kurt didn’t
care about the title because he walked at the end of regulation
in the Iron Man match. Good point. Big Show came out and
said he wanted the shot. Edge came out and said that he
had the briefcase and the guaranteed shot and that until
he took his shot, all Title Matches are frozen. Carlito
pointed out that Edge didn’t run out during the SmackDown!
invasion and that he did, so he should get the shot.
when you’ve got a bunch of guys talking about who’s
gonna get the shot, you have to have the champ come out.
Cena then busted a rap on all of them, which was really
good. Nice segment and I hope they don’t just automatically
put them in The Elimination Chamber.
Tajiri got beat by Chris Masters, but he
got an OK match out of him. Tajiri jumped Masters during
his entrance and beat him up to the ring. Tajiri controlled
a lot of the match and ended up having to endure the MasterLock
and tapping out.
did one of his walking backstage segments. He ran into Michaels
who said that H had gone too far. Then the big deal happened.
HHH and John Cena faced off. They traded barbs and H said
that the only reason Cena was champion is that he didn’t
care about that right now. Way close to home. Cena actually
came out of this looking good. Trips then took to the ring
and cut a good promo on Flair, saying that he was happy
when he first came, but now Flair isn’t the dirtiest
player in the game, or even on the playing field. Really
good promo, and H is a great talker, but he gets easily
and Victoria had a fast match that was really enjoyable.
Trish looked hot. Victoria looked hot. Trish did her backbend
early, but Victoria took over on her. Trish went for the
Bulldog, but Victoria turned it into one of the most brutal
looking BackBreakers I’ve ever seen. It was hard to
look at. Victoria controlled, and Trish did some offense
that looked a little too stagey. Trish went for Stratusfaction,
but Victoria jumped down into the Boston Crab in a nice
spot. Trish escaped after a bit, went for the Chick Kick,
but Victoria caught her leg. Trish managed to get under
Victoria and bridge back into a pin kinda like a Northern
the match, Ashley tried to make the save, but Victoria handed
it to her, too. This led a new girl to make the save. She’s
Juggtastic! She fought off Victoria and got a little reaction
at the end of it all. She did a Single White Female segment
where she said that she was Trish’s biggest fan and
had sent hundreds of letters. They called her Mickie James,
but she’s played by Alexis Laree. Good stuff.
like me! You really like me!
Kurt Angle, Carlito and Edge took on Shawn
Michaels, John Cena and The Big Show. This was another solid
six man that moved forward with storylines. They mostly
worked over Cena in the start, but he managed a tag to Michaels
and he took over on Carlito, including hitting a Flying
Elbow. He set-up for the Sweet Chin Music, but Angle blocked
him. After a while, Michaels made a tag to The Big Show
and he just ran through everyone. They did all sorts of
typical spots, like the one where He has two guys ready
to Double Chokeslam and he kicks the other guy. The two
guys off the ropes and the Big Show clotheslines both. IT
was very Andre of them booking-wise. The finish was great,
as Michaels, Show, Carlito and Edge were brawling, allowing
Kurt and Cena to work. Kurt got the Ankle Lock on, but Cena
twisted out and put one on Kurt! Kurt then rolled around
and got a pin on Cena. This was a good match and very well
done and the finish made it special.
McMahon hired the entire audience and then fired us. Mike
Flores has already added his time with the WWE to his resume.
He then complained that the announcers hadn’t done
anything to save the McMahons when Steve Austin attacked.
The rumors had been floating around all week that UFC’s
announcer Goldberg had been hired, so we all knew that JR
was going to be getting the boot. He asked the guys to apologize,
and Coach did, kissing up to Vince a ton in the process.
The King said that he knew what it was like to take a stunner
and apologized, too. JR said that he was sorry that Linda
got Stunnered. They had Steph come out and slap him and
then when he called for Shane; Linda came out, turned heel,
fired Ross and kicked him low. Way too much McMahon. I’m
worried that this is the direction that we’re going
Good show, though uneven. HHH was good,
the Main Event was strong and I liked the Women’s
That’s all for this week. I’ll
have more for ya next!
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