Welcome to Falls
Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and I married a couple
drew the line at the bedroom.
I wasn’t much impressed with SD! this week, mostly
due to the low humor they tried to pass on to us. It was
just far beyond weak.
open with a match between Booker T and Christian that wasn’t
half-bad. Loads of Booker offense to start, which is traditional
in his matches. He has very believable offense, unlike guys
like Cena and Tomko, and his selling is good enough to carry
a longer match than most. Sharmell came into play when she
pointed out that Christian’s feet were on the ropes
when he was going for a pin. Booker has the weakest of the
SpineBusters in the WWE at the moment, and he used one against
Christian here. Sharmell was complaining and distracted
the ref when Booker hit the Bookend and had Christian covered.
Eventually, Sharmell tripped up Christian and Booker got
a schoolboy on him for the win.
did a bunch of skits where he was complaining of stomach
flu. This was beyond bad, though Eddie did a decent job
of selling sick. Maybe I should have him call in for me
the next time I take a mental health day.
w/ Face Thingee, introduced her new charge John Bradshaw
Layfield. JBL ran down Texans and Texas and then Rey Mysterio.
It was a good heel promo, as he usually delivers, but Rey
needed to show up and beat him down a bit for doing it.
Animal and Heidenreich
beat two jobbers. They need to do a clean and big job to
MNM so that they can get their heat back. New LoD isn’t
a great team, though they get OK response.
Grenier and Hardcore Holly had a match after Holly saved
Christy Hemme and Stacey Kiebler. This wasn’t great,
but Holly knows how to work. They really only use Holly
when they really need to throw something out there. One
week he’s a bad ass, the next he’s defending
the ladies, the next he’s a technical genius and the
next he’s a heel brawler. They just don’t get
him. Holly went for an Alabama Slam, but Grenier got out
but punching him in the kidneys in just about the only memorable
spot. Grenier walked and Holly won by count-out.
Batista was working
out and Theodore R. Long came and told him that Eddie was
sick. Batista then said that he knew the best doctor in
town and already had him on the way. I would trust Batista
if he were talking about the best ‘roid doctor in
whatever city he was in, but other than that, I’d
Ken Kennedy took
on Rey Mysterio in a really good match. Kennedy has natural
charisma and his gimmick is working. They pulled him up
at just the right time, not too early like they usually
do. Rey did his usual show to start and Kennedy was stymied
until he got a backbreaker on Rey that looked like it hurt.
Really nice spot where Kennedy rolled through a Mysterio
Bodypress and hit a Twisting Side Slam for a near fall.
Rey went to the top and JBL came out on his horse. This
gave Kennedy the chance to catch Rey and give him the SteamRoller
for the win. Good match with Kennedy showing that he can
really work. Easily the best match of the night in my eyes.
wicked wife and complained that Booker hasn’t had
any gold in ages. She told him to win the US title.
Eddie was with
the trainer and an impressive nurse came. Eddie sent the
trainer off and the nurse examined him in such a way that
we were to believe she gave him Hands-On Exposure. No idea
why they chose this moment, when Eddie is supposed to be
built to take on Batista, but they’ve finally given
Eddie the sexual deviant vibe that he had so luckily avoided
since the Chynna thing.
need a deep tissue...
Lashley, a major US Amateur star, debuted as a face and
had a match where he squashed Simon Dean more or less. He
used a Dominator-type thing as his finish. He has a good
look, but he’s in early. He has been called the next
Kurt Angle, but they need to give him time and the right
push until he is used to working in the Pro Ring. Lashley
is charismatic, which seems like he’ll be a natural.
Jordan was psyched
that his most recent Chris Benoit match lasted more than
30 seconds, and then Benoit put the Crossface on that was
that. This is a delayed and prolonged angle and it just
needs to end so Benoit can get on with better things.
The Ortons had
a little funeral thing for the Undertaker with the dummy
in the coffin, but then the dummy became the Undertaker.
I didn’t know the Ortons were Catholic!
got rectally probed by Batista’s doctor. Wow…
your Papi now?
MNM took on Batista
with Eddie in his corner, selling the ass a bit. MNM looked
like total jobbers, which doesn’t have to be the case
if they’ll just give them the belts and make them
dominant over all other tag teams. Melina distracted the
ref and Nitro hit a big SuperKick into Batista which gave
MNM the advantage. The ending was kinda good. Batista hit
the Demon Bomb and then Eddie got onto the apron and blind-tagged
in, hit the Frog Splash and got the pin for his ‘team’.
This confused Batista as if he had made it to look like
he had thrown the ball, but really held onto it.
Not a good episode,
but they are doing Kennedy right, which is a good thing.
Mick Foley will be doing a Piper’s Pit on the Homecoming
show. They have seriously stacked up the show and the hopes
are for a 6.0 rating. Few think they can deliver that rating,
but still. There is hope that the WWE will manage to get
a big up-swing on their next PPV buy-rate.
Speaking of buy-rates,
the ECW PPV’s total income so far seems to have passed
all but the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania, with the DVD
being the number 2 for the WWE’s Year-to-Date.
Spike tried to
edit all of the references to the move to USA for RAW. They
got beat by the old jumpy-motor trick where you start, pause,
and then go fast. Spike is not taking the whole WWE leaving
thing very well, but it’s their own fault.
Vince started off the show talking about how RAW is moving.
They edited pieces of what he said, and it came off badly.
HE did say that Spike TV had grown up and changed and that
RAW was a big part of that, which is 100% true. Michaels
and Angle came out looking for matches with the winner of
Cena-Bischoff next week, and Vince made a 30 minute Iron
Man match for the two for them on Homecoming. That might
be the Free TV match of the year.
had a match with Victoria. Good little match, with Trish looking
like she’s 100% and Victoria looking like only she can.
Somersault Legdrop from Victoria and Trish hit a SpineBuster
and a Matrix move and then a moonsault. The other two Bad
Girls attacked, but Ashley and Trish fought them off and Ashley
managed to strip Candace to bra and panties. They’ll
have a Bra and Panties match next week.
just taunting us now.
Big Show. Snitsky.
Street Fight. Bad.
Ric Flair took
on the microphone and gave one of his weaker interviews
in a while. He talked about HHH and a sledgehammer. They
then did a promo video for HHH which was awesome. I’m
not a big fan of the guy, but it really put him over strong.
Guerrero Presents Kerwin White and Shelton Benjamin had
a match after they did a great rewind to show some of Shelton’s
more bad ass moves. He’s a big star waiting to happen!
The match was basic, but Shelton did the top rope leap followed
by the Clothesline. Shelton went to Suplex Chavo, Kerwin
folded on top of him and his new caddy held his leg to get
the pin. They had a good match at the PPV, but the whole
Kerwin White thing is just lame. They really need to put
him in a mask to get the stink off of him. Afterwards, the
new caddy also broke a golf club over Shelton’s back.
Edge and Lita
did a great interview from the top of a ladder. Edge basically
said that he never lost a ladder match and that there would
be no complaining on the internet after this one. Matt came
out and pushed Edge off the ladder. They’ve really
saved this feud and I’m glad to see they are going
to do a definitive ending instead of something wishy-washy.
The cage match should have been the way to go out, but still,
Val Venis and
Big Viz beat Murdoch and Cade by DQ when Cade grabbed the
ref’s hand to stop the count. The Texans weren’t
allowed to look good this time, which is a shame as they
are the best Tag Team in a long time. Murdoch, who I didn’t
realize was Stan Dupp from back in the day, plays his role
really well, and even did so here. Val gave him the Money
Shot right before Cade jumped in to stop the count.
Conway beat Eugene. Eugene was on an on night, and the group
didn’t seem to hate him. Conway’s really good.
Eugene used an Airplane Spin and even made fun of Conway
by putting on his glasses. Conway took advantage for a while,
but Eugene then did a Spinebuster and a People’s Elbow
before becoming Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and no, I don’t
mean he got arrested with the Iron Sheik for possession
of cocaine. Eugene went for the three-point stance, but
Conway took Eugene’s Shawn Michaels doll and destroyed
it, which allowed Conway to get the Ego Trip for the win.
This was fun and I seldom say that about Eugene matches.
didn't know Shawn Michaels was a bear.
was a lot of action in the Cena/Michaels vs Carlito/Masters
table match. I really think they are getting to understand
Main Event TV booking. Don’t give away a big singles
match, but make an interesting tag match. This was good,
with some solid brawling. I seldom mention it, and really
it should remain invisible, but the TV camerawork by the
WWE’s crew is amazing. With all the action in this
one, they managed to keep everything together and give a
great look at the entire match. That’s really hard.
Just look at the Sting dive that got missed by the cameras
at the 1987 Starrcade. The highlight of the show and they
WWE does it right and the brawling was OK, unless they focused
on Cena too long. There were lots of near tosses that were
blocked and people popped for. At one point, Michaels and
Cena did identical slams followed by Five Knuckle Shuffles.
I love when they do those spots. Bischoff and Angle came
out and when Michaels set up to give Masters an elbow off
the top through a table, but Kurt pushed him off and that
ended the match. This led to Cena trying to FU Angle, but
Bisch low-blowed him and then Angle put Cena through a table
with an AngleSlam. Cena bladed and we basically got to see
what it would be like if Bischoff held the belt high after
With the move,
they did everything they could to make it look like Homecoming
was WrestleMania, Starrcade, and some sort of Sorority Pillow
Fight Party all rolled into one. I can’t wait.
all for this week. I’ll be back following Homecoming
with all the news and reports from the greatest free TV
show of all-time!
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