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Falls Count Anywhere


I can't use myself, Da_Man.
Welcome to the New Weekly Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and I’m trying to cast a screaming girl.

With the new WWE Schedule, I’ll be going to one Falls a week from here on out. On Tuesday, you’ll get a Falls with both SmackDown! and RAW reviews. If there’s a big PPV, you can read about it on Mondays. And that’s how it will be for the near term. I’m likely to start reviewing TNA’s TV as well when it starts.

It couldn’t have been worse for SmackDown! to start on Fridays like this. Minimized to one hour because of the benefit, they showed the first part of the show on WWE.com. Sadly, I didn’t get to see it, though I understand that it wasn’t bad. What they did show had its ups and downs.

The show opened up with Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero in a cage match. Oh yeah! This time, it was obvious that Eddie was going to get his win, but still, they had a great stage and a nice prop (the cage) to work with. Eddie and Rey trade fiery punches early and Eddie manages to get the upperhand and tosses him into the cage. In a really cool spot, Eddie picks up Rey for a PowerBomb, but he drives him into the cage in a brilliant spot. Rey makes a comeback and looks great. This section is great, and it leads to Rey doing all the stuff we expect him to do: armdrags, leg scissors and trying to climb the cage. That last one was a mistake as Eddie caught him and crotched him for the idea. Great spot leading into the break. Eddie climbed up to get Rey and gave him a Russian Legsweep. Awesome!

They took a commercial break where Eddie got a PowerBomb and a Back Suplex on Rey. They do a lot of stuff on the top of the cage. Rey takes a DDT and Eddie starts to crawl out, but Rey grabs his foot. Rey manages to pull Eddie back in when he tries to escape. He gives him a Bulldog variant, which is cool. Eddie and Rey climb up again, and Eddie is about to PowerBomb Rey off the top, but Rey turns it into a Hurranacanrana. Sweet!

Rey starts to climb again, but Eddie starts to get up. Rey goes for a Flying Body Press off the top, but Eddie moves! Eddie is about to leave, but sees Rey in there, climbs the ropes and gives him the Frog Splash and then pins him. Good finish, really good match. I’d say about the same level as the Ladder Match.

There was yet another destruction of Orlando Jordan by Chris Benoit. This one was slightly faster than the last one. Still, it’s fun comedy, but on this night, they could have gone without it and given a little longer to Rey and Eddie.

The Main Event Bullrope Match should be the end of the JBL vs. Batista feud. I said should be, but I fear it will not be. Bullrope matches have their problems, mostly that people have been booking them the same way for years. Both guys touch all three corners and then one of them manages to touch the fourth, typically out of luck.

Does anybody know where the other end of that rope is?
That wasn’t quite the case this time, but still, they used much of that concept. They did a lot of brawling, which was the only way this match was going to work at all. They made a lot of smart plays to get heat on the corner touching and the first few minutes basically got the idea over. Nice bit where Batista slams JBL into each corner while slamming them himself. They are starting to learn how to properly get Bradshaw over as a monster without HHH. Batista blocks a Clothesline from Hell and gives JBL the DemonBomb! He then wails on him with the cowbell, bloodying him up. Batista chokes Bradshaw with the rope, and carries him on his back before starting to make his way around. This is what every booker does.

Both guys get the touches on three, but then Batista flipped Bradshaw over and pulled him back just inches from getting that fourth corner. Batista then gave him a SpineBuster and got the touch for the win. Not a bad match. It’s hard to do a good match where you have to touch the corners (I can only think of one really good one being Vader vs. Sting) but they made a good deal of it.

Not a bad show, but they could have spiced it up. Really, it was time working against them.

TNA Unbreakable
I got this with about an hour and ten minutes to go before I had to get to work, so I watched what I could.

3 Live Kru took on Simon Diamond, Elix Skipper and David Young. The Kru did some early mic work. I didn’t listen, I just fast forwarded to the match. The was dull so I fast forwarded through it too. I did happen to see Konnan throw his shoe and hit some sort of Pedigree.

Austin Aries took on The Master of the BackBreaker Roderick Strong. This was a match I’ve been waiting to see. They started trying to work each other on the mat, but they managed a lot of escapes and counters and reversals. Strong used all his weird and wild BackBreakers on Aries, but none of them worked. Strong had a big advantage, but he couldn’t knuckle Austin. Austin escaped a chinlock and gave Roderick the Leg Lariat. They traded big blows for a while and then Strong got the Fireman’s Gut Buster on Austin. Austin managed the win with the 450 Splash, which looks really good when he doses it. Really good match that I didn’t fast forward at all.

That same sentiment can’t be said of Monty Brown and Kip James vs. Lance Hoyt and Apolo. I like Hoyt a lot, but this was an obvious train wreck waiting to happen. There were a few spots that I stopped and watched. Apolo hitting a Sky High on Monty that looked really painful. Hoyt went for the Moonsault, but Brown threw him off the top to the floor. Brown got the Pounce for the win. Petey Williams and The Future Chris Sabin wrestled in a very good match. They worked all over, doing a lot of out of ring action too. Sabin flung himself into the barricades at one point. Williams took advantage and did a BackBreaker and then the Crotch Stand while teaching the words to the Canadian National Anthem. That was funny.

Sabin recovered, but when he tried for a PowerBomb, he ended up getting it turned into a Tornado DDT by Williams. Lot’s of back and forth, and then Williams hit a nice Fisherman’s Buster for a near fall. Williams set-up for the Canadian Destroyer, but Sabin blocked it. Williams then went for the Sharpshooter, but too close to the ropes. Sabin gave Williams and awesome running Tequila Sunrise into the Turnbuckles. RAD! Williams went for the Destroyer again, but Sabin got out and caught the Cradle Shock on Petey to get the win. Good match, and with these two, you’d expect nothing less.

Abyss beat Sabu. This was a brawl and Sabu looked better than he has in a while. Thumbtacks and all sorts of carnage. I fast Forwarded again, only because work was getting closer and closer and I knew that the Main Event needed all my time.

Who's next?
Bobby Roode beat Jeff Hardy. Talk about a guy getting buried. Hardy hasn’t had a high profile win in ages. Team Canada got involved, especially Petey who tried to give Hardy the Canadian Destroyer, but it just wasn’t his night as Jeff got out of it. Jeff hit the Twist of Fate, but Roode rolled out of the ring, where Jeff then hit him and Williams with a bodyblock. Jeff was then blind-sided by Jeff Jarrett with the flag. That led to Roode getting the win. Good stuff.

NWA Tag Title Elimination Match was a sort of tribute to Chris Candito. They had his brother and Dad come out and they gave them the yellow towel. Johnny also wrestled in the thing and was on a team with Alex Shelley and was the first eliminated when Team Canada (Eric Young and A1) used a low blow and a small package for the win. This led to Team Canada pinning Harris of America’s Most Wanted after a Hockey Stick Shot. The Naturals, with Jimmy Hart, managed to end the carnage of the Canucks when Jimmy kept Eric Young from hitting a top rope move and A1 had to take The Natural Disaster for the pin by the Naturals. Good stuff, though I moved through, very quickly, many of the transitions.

In a Raven’s Rules Match (which had nothing to do with Raven Simone, and even less to do with her incredibly hot sidekick Anneliese van der Pol), Raven beat Rhyno…I mean Rhino. It was a good brawl, but there were pressing issues. There was a shopping cart full of plunder to be used. Raven used a Pizza Cutter to open up Rhino and the brawling didn’t stop. There was a great spot where Rhino brought the Shopping Cart into the Ring, but Raven sent it flying into his ribs. Rhino later went to Gore Raven, but Raven dodged and Rhine speared the cart. Jeff Jarrett ran in, but Jeff Hardy stopped him and Raven got the Raven Effect for the pin. I really need to rewatch this match.

I had left myself exactly enough time to watch AJ Styles vs. The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe. I am so glad that I did, because there’s almost never been a more sure thing Match of the Year that this. It was amazing, layered, fast, brutal, smartly built and just plain amazing. This should have been saved for the first TNA on Spike show because once you see it, you’ll never want to watch anything other than these guys ever again.

The match started with Daniels doing his cocky heel thing and then getting beat on by both AJ and Joe. They took turns dishing out amazing stiff kicks to Chris’ back. Styles ended that and went to work on Joe, including trying an Arm Breaker. Daniels attacked Styles and gave Joe an Enzuigiri. Joe and Styles worked a while as Daniels sold. So much great action, especially when Joe and AJ were working together. That’s not to say that Daniels wasn’t amazing too, but AJ and Joe were made to work with each other. Daniels did a dive onto Joe on the outside, and that was followed by AJ hitting one of his own. Daniels and Joe traded big shots until Joe got the Kokina Clutch on him. Styles then managed to hit the Spinal Tap on both of them! They both kicked out.

Just so much great action. This was like watching Chris Benoit and The Great Sasuke from the finals of the Super J Cup or Joe vs. CM Punk from a couple of years ago.

Joe went for The Muscle Buster on Daniels, but it was blocked! Styles with a Dive! Oh man, that was awesome! HUGE German Suplex by Joe on Styles. Joe did a Corkscrew dive! Joe hit the Muscle on Styles, and then went for the belt, but the ref tried to stop him. Daniels kicked it into Joe’s face, which was a brilliant spot! Daniels went for the Angel’s Wings after Joe went crashing to the floor. Styles managed to turn it into a Back Drop while holding onto the arms (sorts like a Cyclone Driver) and got the pin. This match was off the charts and everyone gave it a standing O.

That’s all you need for an amazing PPV, just that one match that no one can deny is brilliant. I’m so glad I saved enough time to watch it all, and then I rewatched about ten minutes and ended up late to work anyhow.

Brock Lesnar has apparently signed a deal with New Japan. Everyone knew that they wanted him, and some were saying that the WWE sitting at the table with Brock was based on them wanting to stop him from going to New Japan. They seem to not care at all about the No Compete, probably because they see the WWE’s positing as untenable and even if it isn’t, Brock can probably get away with it to a degree.

After RAW, John Cena limped to the back. No word on how serious the injury was.

Sean Waltman showed up late for the TNA PPV. Not sure why, but he’s in deep trouble. They might fire him, but it’s kinda doubtful. They’ve kept Jeff Hardy, haven’t they?

Daniel Puder was let go. They decided that ages ago, and they just got around to doing it. I’m not sure if possible release was drawn into the contract or if they just paid him the money to get him off the books. I’m guessing the former.

We open with Edge vs. The Big Show. Fun little spot where they’re doing a test of strength and Edge ends up crotched. Show is really getting the “Shhh” slaps over. The crowd really to like this. Edge tried for a DDT, but Show sent him flying off. Snitsky came out and caused the DQ, and he was followed by the still red hot Matt Hardy. Bischoff then came out and announced that this was now a tag team match.

Show and Hardy vs. Snitsky and Edge was an interesting match, though I’m not sure I’d want to see it a few more times. The crowd was way into Matt, who pounded on Edge early, though he took a big Clothesline from Edge. Matt tired a Piledriver, but he got tossed for his troubles. The two of them work really well together. Show tags in for a bit and does the big man spots and then tags Hardy back in before he sends Edges to the floor for a commercial.

Edge was in control when we came back. I must also add here that Lita was just about as smokin’ as she’s ever been. Snitsky went for a ShoulderBreaker, but Hardy turned it into a DDT! Hardy legdrops Snitsky, but Lita gets up on the apron. Hardy grabbed her by the hair and that allowed Edge to get to him. Matt tried for a Twist of Fate, but Edge stopped it and got a Spear for the pin. Better than most matches that Snitsky will ever be in. After the match, Hardy gives Lita the Twist of Fate.

Shawn Michaels comes out and does a nice little interview. He basically talks about the Masters issue and then says that he’ll beat him at Unforgiven. I hope he does. Ric Flair comes out and does a Nitro circa 1997 interview. He’s great and he’s crazy. This was a really good piece of business.

Kerwin White. Chavo, Chavo, Chavo. Shame on you. Kerwin took on Shelton Benjamin in a match that was only OK. I do have to admit that Chavo is good with his character. After taking off his Polo shirt to choke Shelton, he neatly folded it. That was a nice touch. These two could have had a great match, but there was some silliness and Chavo seemed a little tentative. Kerwin hit Benjamin with the 9 Iron to get himself DQed. Maybe they’ll end up with a longer and better match at Unforgiven.

Great Kurt Angle interview. I can’t remember the last time they built a challenger so well towards a title match. I don’t even think that the Batista thing was done this well, though that’s probably because they did it over a period of months.

Striking a classic Frazetta pose, Trish makes me want to watch wrestling again.
The Heel Girls, Candace (Hot), Torrie (Hotter), and Victoria (Hottest of them All!) called out Ashley. Like a chump, she came out. Torrie called Ashley Punky Brewster. Ashley says that she’s not stupid and then brings out Trish Stratus, returning and looking fine. They charge and Ashley takes on Candace while Trish attacks Victoria and Torrie. Great spot where Trish ducks a Clothesline and it hits Torrie instead. Trish cleaned up and this was a really hot segment. Nice to see Trish back as a face.

I can’t believe I’m about to say this. Chris Masters vs. Ric Flair was a really great little match. They gave it time, the match was laid out right, it had heat and a storyline that made sense. I’m stunned. Masters came out to no response. None. Flair was over like crazy. Flair worked brilliantly with the lump, much like he did often with Nikita Koloff. He bumped huge for him too, like Shawn did for Hogan, or Funk did for just about everybody. Masters doesn’t do the strength moves well, but Flair, God Bless Him, he made them all look golden. Flair starts using the cheating technique, which is such a smart piece of booking that I’m amazed it came up in these dark times.

They take a commercial and Masters is working a Bear Hug. Flair’s cheating gets even better as he bites Masters nose. Flair then starts working on Masters leg. He gets a KneeBreaker, but then as he’s putting on the Figure Four, Carlito runs in and brains Flair with the IC Title. Now that’s cool. Michaels comes out and fights a bit, but evenetually ends up in the MasterLock and he goes down.

Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch may be the best new tag team in years. They had a nice little match with Eugene and Tajiri. Murdoch works so much like Dick Murdoch that it’s not even funny. The first time he busts out the jumping head scissors, I’ll make him my hero. Eugene does a lot of comedy, but Cade and Murdoch beat it out of him. Tajiri gets a nice comeback, including putting on the Tarantula. Eugene hit a Stunner which got a good pop. Murdoch came in and gave Tajiri a HUGE Sky High that allowed Cade to come off the top with an elbow for the pin. These guys rule! I only hope they keep them together and give them real opponents.

...and Lita is getting so good on the Edge...
Lita and Edge did an interview taunting Matt and talking about the Cage Match. Edge is getting so good on the mic.

Cena came into Bischoff’s Office sounding all depressed and beaten. He said he was through and was about to hand Bisch the belt when he pulled it back and gave Eric the traditional tough guy act. Good acting on Cena’s part.

John Cena overcame the odds and beat Angle and Tyson Tomko when he gave Tomko the FU. In plain truth, Cena’s the worst offensive wrestler I’ve ever seen. He has that awful punches, he doesn’t have a lot of solid moves and he doesn’t sell well enough to do the classic face ‘Sell until a big fast comeback’. It’s a shame because he’s so charismatic. This match wasn’t bad, and when Kurt was in beating on John and being brutal, it was really kinda good.

After the first break, Angle was destroying Cena. He did a great snapmare into a facelock. Tomko looked OK, using a Running Powerslam at one point. Angle ran some big Uppercuts on Cena. An Amazing Spot was Cena having Tomko up for the FU, but Angle came from behind and gave him the German Suplex WHILE HE WAS HOLDING TOMKO!!! That was way RAD! Tomko tried to give the Big Boot to Cena, but Cena moved and Kurt took the force of it, allowing Cena to get the FU for the win. This was also fun stuff.

Angle then jumps Cena, works him over and runs his ankle into the post before dropping a knee on his ankle. That was probably a bad idea as John looked like he was badly limping.

That’s all for this week!

Talk about today's column in the forums!

Chris Garcia

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