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Wrestling Today's Date:

Falls Count Anywhere


An earthquake is like my
San Jose Classic.
Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and I’m going to Seattle!

I was late joining in on RAW due to getting far too entranced by the coverage of Hurricane Katrina. Seriously, I’m a weather geek so a Category 5 is like my SuperBowl.

The opening was Carlito’s Cabana with Shawn Michaels. Michaels apparently got a big pop. As I tuned in, people were chanting for Hogan which led Michaels to say “He ain’t comin’ back until he needs a big payoff!” I was dying.

Basically, Carlito called out Chris Masters, who was scheduled to meet Michaels in a Masterlock Challenge, and Shawn started a brawl with Masters and Carlito. After Master and Carlito got the advantage, Flair ran out and chopped Masters and Carlito. Shawn tossed Carlito out and he took a high toss over the top to the floor. Carlito is great!

Afterwards, Masters and Carlito went to Bischoff and asked the Flair and Michaels be put in a match. Bisch called off the Masterlock Challenge until next week and put Flair and Michaels together in a match. Carlito was hilarious saying ‘Put them against two big guys.’ And when Bischoff said that they’d be fighting Masters he added “He’s a big guy.’ Carlito was the forth in that tag battle. This was a great pair of segments.

The Big Show came out for an Andre the Giant-type handicapped match against Buck Quartermain and Steve Madison. The crowd seemed to love The Big Show, and he got pops for his chest slaps. Everyone seemed to enjoy the segment and the guys bumped really well for The Big Show. They seem to be bringing back The Squash as a legitimate art form on the shows. I don’t disapprove, as I think if they are done well, like this one was, they can be entertaining and help get new acts and certainly new moves more over. Snitsky ran in and beat on The Show, including clocking him with the ring bell a couple of times.

They continued the Torrie and Candace are heels angle by having Ashley come out so they could apologize. They gave an insincere apology and Torrie said since Ashley wants to be a wrestler, they arranged her first match. Candace added that she would then learn her place and shut the hell up and just look pretty. This was a nice add, as they are having Torrie and Candace be the chicks who are only there to look good and Ashley is the face who wants to be a wrestler. Ashley also looked amazingly hot in her outfit. She was chompin’ at the bit to fight and they announced that Victoria was her opponent.

I like that slide-through...
Ashley pushed both Torrie and Candace, then gave Victoria a Slide-through Dropkick on the outside. Her top also broke, but she seemed to keep her gubbins covered, sadly. Victoria got the advantage and ended up giving Ashley the Widow’s Peak for the win. Victoria and Candace then celebrated with Victoria. I think this is a good idea and I’m actually liking the directions they are going.

There was another Cade-Murdoch segment. I really think they could go far. Cade is the Bockwinkle of the group, with the good talking and Murdoch is the drunken redneck. They’re basically the Ventura-Adonis of the 2000s!

Little backstage segment where Edge is listening to some band play and he gets interrupted. When asked where Lita is, he tells Todd Grisham that she’s on assignment. A little later, we see that she’s talking to Matt Hardy. She taunts him, telling him that she’s been ‘warming Edge up for a long time’ and wondering how it feels to know that he’ll never have any of her good stuff again. He says that he’s in Hell and he’ll take Edge with him. This feud is getting better, and the first stroke at SummerSlam will be an important aspect as we go forward, I’m betting.

Shawn Michaels is grabbed by a stagehand who takes him to where Flair lies bleeding. Seriously, he was bloody and there was blood all over the walls and there was blood on his shirt and there was blood on the saddle…

The Edge vs. Matt Hardy Streetfight was a fun little match with one of those ending that they’ve overdone, but still work pretty well. They used lots of weapons, including a ladder and a garbage can lid on each other. I always loved it when they’d do streetfights and one guy would always come out in jeams. It was usually Dusty Rhodes. The match was good, with some rapid-fire trash can lid shots and the guys using the ladder as a weapon. Matt did a great Legdrop off the ladder for two. These guys work really well together, and with all the experience they’ve had in ladder matches that makes sense. Edge gave Matt a great Flapjack onto the ladder. Edge tried to give Matt the Edgecution on the ring steps, but Hardy got out and gave him a DDT on the steps!

Lots of good brawling leads them up to the stage where they do a great series of spots making it look like one or the other would be going off the side. After Edge pulled up after trying a spear, Matt and Edge exchange punches, and Hardy gives him the Side Effect off the Stage through the electrical equipment! That got a good pop, and there was good heat for much of the match. The EMTs come and they were yelling ‘Turn off the electricity’. They did some low-level explosions too. This wasn’t as convincing as it should have been (they did it right with Terry Funk and Cactus back in the day), but it makes sense and fits right in with the idea they are trying to get over with Matt.

His acting wasn't this good in Highlander IV.
But then, no one's was...
After we get back, they are still tending to the fallen men and we see them leave.

John Cena comes out to a really solid response and then cuts a good promo saying that he got attacked by a Red, White, and Blue Tasmanian Devil who came at him like a tornado of arms and teeth. He must have just watched that Harry Carey skit that Will Ferrell did back in the day on Saturday Night Live!. Kurt comes out and said that he must have given Cena brain damage last week because he kept calling him into the ring. Cena taunts him, but Angle keeps backing off. Cena said that Kurt liked to jump guys from behind, so he turned around and that brought Kurt in. Kurt gets an anklelock, but Cena kicks out of it. Good segment.

Tyson Tomko. They’ve pushed him as a bad guy on Heat, having him use his big kick as a finisher. They did a recap of his Heat wins that looked kinda impressive, especially the one where he just booted a guy in the back of the head. His match with Rosie sucked and he won with the boot and also gave one to Hurricane after.

Shawn Michaels faced Carlito and Masters on his own and made a show of it. Lots of standing reverses and headlock type stuff to start things out. After Masters begs to be tagged in, he and Michaels do a nice segment where Masters muscles him around. There’s some double teaming and a nice bit of back-and-forth that leads to Masters getting backdropped to the outside and the commercial. When we get back, Michaels is getting double-teamed. They do a double countdown spot where Michaels kips-up at five and gives the Flying Forearm, but ends up getting tripped by Masters when he goes for Sweet Chin Music.

Lots of good work after with the best being Michaels turning a Spinebuster into a DDT. Of course, at the end, Flair comes out, still bloody and in that bloody shirt and tags in. He chops Masters and Carlito actually bails out when Flair comes in. Carlito gives Flair a low blow while he’s trying for a Figure Four. Masters gets the Masterlock and ends up tapping to end the match. The match really heated up when Flair came in.

Kinda an uneven show, but I liked it well enough.

Nothing big. People are talking about Matt Hardy like he’s on the downward spiral. Even Jeff was critical, saying that Matt was just wasting TNA’s time when he entered into negotiations. Edge and Matt are still very hot at each other, but they’ve agreed to do business because it’ll draw and it should, if done right, bring them both up a level.

That’s gotta be it for today. I’ll be neck deep in geek this weekend with NASFiC in Seattle, so there’ll be no Falls on Friday. I’ll have a Super Issue on Tuesday, though!

Talk about today's column in the forums!

Chris Garcia

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