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Falls Count Anywhere


However, I'm also banned from Yosemite all over again.
Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and I love Yosemite all over again.

I watched SmackDown! While packing for Yosemite, and I was rather held to certain parts. It was a fun show, at times, but it had some flaws. The one thing it certainly had was a pair of really good matches.

We opened with a bit of good news: Christian’s Peep Show. I like the set-up. They had Rey Mysterio as the guest and then Eddie came on the Titantron. He was about to start the story when Rey kept interrupting in Spanish. Eddie said he’d tell the rest later, and Christian attacked Rey from behind, giving him the Unprettier and setting up their match for later. Good to see Christian getting a little respect.

Jillian Hall did a promo about her mole. This is really weak, but man, she’s smokin’ hot. I mean really, if the mole were real, I’d still say she was wicked hot. I really hope this ends soon…or that Jillian gets really naked fast.

MNM and Jillian came out for their match against Booker T and Chris Benoit. Melina is a giant star waiting to be presented right. She’s the next Sunny, who was the first Sable, and without Trish around, she’s easily the top woman in the WWE.

Booker got a little bit of heat from the crowd which I thought was pretty dead most of the way. Mercury and Nitro bump really well, and Mercury took Benoit’s German’s nearly as well as Batista did on RAW a few months back. Benoit tried to Back Suplex Nitro off the top, but Melina distracted the ref and allowed Mercury to interfere.

This isn't what they mean by swinging with a woman.
A hot tag to Booker T led to him cleaning house with kicks and the like, but when he went for the Scissors Kick, Melina grabbed his leg to stop him. Sharmell then chased Melina into the ring, but Jillian speared her to cut her off. Booker tossed Jillian out, but that allowed Mercury to get a roll-up. I really thought this match was a lot of fun and I hope these two go at it again.

Another lame contract signing between JBL and Batista. Batista did one cool thing: he tore the horns off of JBL’s Limo. Batista let JBL choose the stip for the SummerSlam match, and he chose No Holds Barred. Why waste time with this stuff?

Heidenreich continued the Single White Female angle with Animal. They actually got the right reaction from the crowd when they squashed two more jobbers. I still say this is a total waste of the Tag Titles, which were doin’ fine around the waists of MNM.

A nice promo from Randy Orton, though it did seem a little repetitive. Basically, he said that he wanted to take away everything from The Undertaker and said that he was the youngest WWE champion ever and that he was the future of the sport. All of those things are true, but sadly he failed to mention that his place was usurped by a forty year old stiff named Batista. Go figure.

Undertaker came on screen and said that at Summerslam, Orton would rest in peace. I like Orton a lot, but he’s not yet a real star big enough to carrying a major program. I hope that they give him a clean win over UT and then push him hard towards Batista, which is required since Brock seems to have chosen not to sign.

Christian and Rey had a solid match that I hoped would go longer, but didn’t. Rey started out fast, jumping Christian as soon as he could. He hit that great seated Senton for a near-fall early on. They played the entire opening section like it was an old Cruiserweight’s match from Nitro in 1997. Rey was in more than his share of those classics. Rey went for a 619, but Christian moved and when he went for a Hurrancanrana, Christian dropped him on his face. I think that was during the break and they had to recap it.

Yeah, that's fatherly love.
Eddie came out with some attractive woman who was dressed less skankily than you would normally see in the WWE. They took a seat at the top of the ramp. Christian took over with a gutbuster and an abdominal stretch. Nice move with Rey going for a Springboard something and Christian meeting him with a dropkick. After they came back from commercial, Rey was in control with a Tornado DDT and then a drop kcik that sent Christian into the ropes for a 619 and then into a Legdrop for the win. Good match.

Rey then called for Eddie to come into the ring, but Eddie decided to stay at the top of the ramp and do his promo from there. The woman was named Anna and she was the attorney that had secured Eddie parental rights for Dominic. Rey said that he was Dominic’s dad, even if he wasn’t Dominic’s father. That same storyline happened in a bunch of Lifetime Original Movies. Next week, in Chapter 3, Eddie will take custody.

All the wrestling did what it was supposed to do, and the Christian vs. Rey match was very solid. I only hope that we’ll get more of the good wrestling and less of the crappy talking.

WWE.com reports that Brock has broken off discussions of returning. This is a blow as SmackDown! needs him right now and they had already started booking towards his eventual return. The terms of his return are rumored to be the reason, but there are those who think this is simply another work by the WWE web team and that he’ll be in at SummerSlam. I’m in the boat that thinks he’ll be back, but only after Vince gives a little more.

There’s a little more to the Vince being mad at the Great American Bash thing. There’s talk that he’s actually not happy with SmackDown’s general direction, and that he’s actually pushing them to move the Eddie vs. Rey Feud even harder. It’s not a sure thing, but folks are saying heads may be about to roll.

There’s word that Rey may be in for a run with the US Title. Likely after finally losing to Eddie, Rey will get the belt and make a longish run. That’s the plan right now, but no one knows what’s gonna shake out.

TNA is getting ready to debut on Spike. They’ve gone and got themselves a few new folks they’ll be debuting and the set they’re gonna use has been purchased. There’s still the question of the six-sided ring, but likely it will stay the same.

This was an interesting edition of RAW, with just about enough of what I like to carry me all the way through. There were some troubles caused by long-term plans getting in the way, but there were some very nice individual performances that kept the show moving.

How about a hand up, brutha?
We open with the Eugene Invitational. They were in Angle Country, Pittsburgh, PA, so Kurt got a good reaction coming out. Eugene got a strong negative reaction. Eugene was wearing Hulk Hogan garb. Angle clotheslined the ref to get DQed, but kept on with his attack on Eugene until The Hulkster made his appearance and saved Eugene. This set up Angle vs. Hulk for next week, which could be interesting.

Shelton Benjamin was robbed when he quickly tapped to the Masterlock after a low blow. This match was awful and the booking hurts Shelton, unless they are really planning on him being the one that breaks the Masterlock and gets his win. They seem to be choosing to push Masters over Benjamin, which is a huge mistake. They should keep trying to make Shelton a star. It was working when he worked with Michaels and HHH.

Angle did a fun promo backstage where the audience reacted perfectly. He has a No Time Limit Match with Eugene at SummerSlam. He vowed to end Eugene’s career with the Ankle Lock. I think it would be easier to do through bad booking.

Rob Conway and Big Viz did a confrontation. I really like Conway in the arrogant bastard gimmick. Maria seems to have gotten dumber, but also hotter. I like Rob Conway and I hope he makes it past the level that folks like Val Venis have made their home.

In the promo of the year, Edge just ran a dagger into Matt Hardy. It was really the most intense, perfectly delivered interview in ages. Lita was with him in a neck brace. He basically said that he asked Vince to hire Matt back and that Matt had never had a chance at the spotlight like he did because of Edge. Edge said that Matt was 13 minutes into his 15 of fame, basically taking credit for making Matt into the star that he is.

Really, the Hardy Boys and Edge & Christian both made the big names for themselves because of those great matches they had. Edge said that he was legally going to destroy Matt at SummerSlam and that the only reason Matt was in that position was because his girlfriend fell in love with a Main Eventer. He then made out with Lita. This was a sweet interview and one that’ll only amp the crowd when SS comes.

Big Viz lost to Robert Conway. Viscera is a face, but no one responds to him like one. He did the backdoor love spot to no reaction. Conway worked the leg and managed to get the pin. Terrible match and a giant waste of Conway. Get Benjamin away from Masters (with a big win) and have him and Conway do some real work together!

The Heartthrobs are terribly under-used and need to get their big Ring Entrance back to get over. They came out with Victoria. Hurricane and Rosie had Stacey. The match wasn’t bad, pretty typical really. Victoria slammed Stacey back first into the surrounding barrier and Rosie went after her. This allowed The Heart Throbs to get the pin with their finisher.

The Highlight Reel was OK, with Bischoff as the guest. He ordered referee Chad Patton in the ring and had him apologize and then he put him in a match against Jericho. Jericho destroyed him and put him in the Walls for a long time before Bischoff called for the bell. Carlito was at ringside and Cena came and punked him a good bit, finally giving him the FU.

Support the troops.
Next week is the Diva Search Finale (Go Ashley) and the final three are the three everyone expected, with Elizabeth looking like she’s gonna win it all. They did a one minute promo where a guy pushed a pie in their face at the thirty second mark. Ashley totally flipped out. Elizabeth came out of it the best. It’ll be close.

Matt Hardy pinned Gene Snitsky in a match that was fast and gave Matt the chance to get a really good reaction. After the match, Edge jumped Matt. They were pulled apart and at the break, Matt jumped Edge. This was a solid angle and I think they’re doing it right. I’ve seen folks complain that they’re turning it into just another feud, but I think they’ve played it very smart and the people are still reacting very big to it. Plus, they’ve got a couple of great promos that’ll only help things along.

They showed Cena’s new video, which was fairly good. They also recapped the Larry King angle from last week, which is still great stuff.

They had Hogan and Michaels face off in a good little segment. Michaels said that he wouldn’t cooperate and that he’s been fired before. Hogan came back with Shawn having screwed Bret Hart and lost his smile. Michaels Superkicked Lawler and then attacked Hogan, but Hulk sent him out of the ring. This was very insider type stuff and interesting. I’m looking forward to the train wreck they’re gonna call their match.

I’d say this was a better than average episode for the opposite reason that SmackDown! Was a good episode. Everything in the ring was weakish, but the out of ring stuff was great, especially the closing and Edge segments.

That’s all for today. On Firday, I’ll talk a little about SummerSlams past.

Talk about today's column in the forums!

Chris Garcia

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