to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and a jar of fireflies
only lasts for one night.
kissed a girl.
I'll get back to you on that life thing, though...
RAW opened with Eric Bischoff. You know, in my first column
ever for Fanboy Planet, Eric opened up the show sitting
on a stool in a spotlight in the centre of a darkened arena.
I really wish he would do that again. He said that after
Cena’s actions of last week, he would be forced to
face Gene Snitsky in a Lumberjack Match. Wow, that’s
gonna be a hard sell to me.
Benjamin beat Carlito Caribbean Cool in a match where the
IC could change hands on a count-out. It was a good little
match, though Shelton looked like he was about to slip off
the top rope to the floor. He did an amazing Slingshot Bodyblock
that looked great. He’s probably the fastest wrestler
working right now, and is very close to the Great Sasuke-level
of ability without the recklessness and body-crushing high
spots. Carlito went for a pin with his feet on the ropes,
but Benjamin got out of it. It looked like Shelton was gonna
take the match, but Carlito gave a low blow for a DQ to
win the match. Good stuff, as this feud is smart and is
using two guys who are going to be big in the next few years.
It’s almost like watching Rock vs. HHH in 1997.
was treated to the Angle Invitational again. This time,
Kurt opened with cheap heel heat on the Eagles and then
said that last week he could have beaten Matt Striker at
any time but he decided to draw it out for ratings drama.
This led Matt Striker to come out again and say that he
was Matt Martel from Philly. They had another match, but
this time, Striker almost choked out Angle and the crowd
was kinda behind him. Vince has a way of making bad guys
into faces, though not as much as Carlos Colon when he pushed
Bruiser Brody’s killer as a face. Angle got out, got
an AngleSlam and the Ankle Lock to win again. I liked this
segment and I like this angle.
was a lame segment with Chavo “Kerwin Smith”
Guerrero and Bisch. Jericho came in and said that the Lumberjack
match was his idea and that next week, Cena and Jericho
would meet one on one…in a Battle of the Bands!
lost the Masterlock Challenge. For some reason, Coach kept
using the word Mesomorph. That’s a big word for wrestling
fans like me. After the match, Masters said that there was
no one who could beat him in the Masterlock Challenge. This
brought out Big Show. Master did the boot-scoot boogie out
of there. That will either re-establish the Big Show as
a monster, or make Masters into a big deal.
apparently has its color scheme, too.
did a great promo backstage that just hammered everything
into place. He talked about Matt Hardy, saying he wasn’t
supposed to mention his name. He then complained about us
Internet types writing about his life and never having kissed
a girl. It was a great interview that melded life and work
and just seemed to let Edge release some legit steam. If
he did more of these, then he’d be over huge as a
heel in the mold of early 1990s Eddie Gilbert.
came out and said that he would accept Michael’s Challenge.
Michaels had a great line: ‘Immortality has its price,'
which makes me think someone stayed up late reading the
latest Harry Potter book. This wasn’t a great interview,
certainly not compared with the Edge one earlier, but it
did get a very good reaction and moved the feud along. There
are people who complain about the way this one is building.
I think they just over-think things. It’s basically
this, and it’s been said: Michaels thinks he’s
better than Hogan.
before Edge got into the cage for his match with Kane, Matt
Hardy jumped him. Matt got tackled and Edge yelled “Go
back to the Indies!” Great stuff here. Matt got dragged
off, but managed to break free and escape through the crowd.
This is brilliant using Brian Pillman methods to get a face
over. This will be the big feud of the late summer and throughout
the fall. I’m really looking forward to seeing where
this one goes.
what I’ve been reading elsewhere, I thought that Kane
vs. Edge in the cage was a good match that did everything
they needed it to do. They had blood early, with Kane doing
a decent bladejob, they had tons of brawling, lot’s
of situations where the guys could have gone out but got
stopped. This wasn’t Benoit vs. Angle, but it was
good enough, and for Kane it was probably his best match
in at least a year. They did a great moment where they had
Lita dn Edge kiss through the cyclone fencing. Sweet. Kane
was about to win when Edge got his brief case and was climbing
over the top with it. Kane grabbed him, but Edge clocked
him with the case and that allowed Edge to escape. I liked
it, I thought that they told the story well, were lower-impact
than many cage matches, which is a good thing, but they
also worked the cage gimmick so well that it made it look
dangerous. That’s important in these situations.
interviewed Cena backstage. They are trying to make her
into Cena’s version of what Coach was to the Rock.
Well, at least she’s got boobs for John to have a
look at if he gets bored.
Cena vs. Snitsky match wasn’t good, but it had it’s
moments and never failed to be at least somewhat entertaining.
They had all the heel lumberjacks interfere with the match
which allowed it to keep moving along. After a while, the
faces came out and started brawling with the heels. Cena
hit the FU and got the pin after knocking Jericho around
this show was worth the time and effort, though there are
some problems. They need to build more around Cena as the
lead face, doing a better build like they did with Austin.
Jericho is a great foil for Cena, but they’re using
the McMahon-Austin feud template with Eric in the role of
Vince. I like what they’re putting out, but they can
ramp it up a bit and pull a much bigger win out of it if
they try. Edge is coming along and his feud with Hardy has
people talking and has made Matt into a big face with the
crowd. Let’s see how long it lasts after he really
comes back and if they keep him in the role of the loose
In huge news that the Observer broke, Earl Hebner, the best
known and most controversial ref of the last two decades,
was fired by the WWE for selling unauthorized merchandise.
This is a huge deal, as Earl was the top paid regular ref
due to being with McMahon when he screwed Bret out of the
belt. His first big WWF angle was when he and his twin brother
Dave reffed the Andre vs. Hogan match as the identical referees.
It was a great angle and I always liked Earl. If he wrote
a tell-all book, that would be the most impressive of all
of them as he has stories from all sides of the business.
can screw Hart, but not McMahon.
to the Weekend
I’ve been reading about it and I wish I was there.
I do have a knack of being at the great moments in the history
of the sport, like when Stevie Richards, Hollywood Nova,
Blue Meanie and Donn E. Allen came out as KISS at the ECW
arena, or being there for the only Jericho vs. Sabu match
or the Mass Transit incident or the night that HHH tore
his quad. This time, I missed it, but I’ve heard from
five different people about what might have been the greatest
character introduction ever, and the weather played along.
Boogeyman, who they’ve been pushing with teasers on
RAW the last couple of weeks, debuted at an outdoor house
show. He did his ring entrance and got on the mic. He said
“I’m the Boogeyman” and at that precise
moment, thunder clapped and Lightning struck. This was weather,
not planned at all. He continued his promo and then ended
up saying a few more words and the second he finished, the
rain started pouring. This was a classic moment and there
were about a thousand people there (the number will grow
over the years) and they all said it was the most incredible
thing. I know there’s a word for weather co-operating
with an outdoor production in Shakespearean times, but I
can’t remember it.
Boogeyman gimmick isn’t expected to go over big, but
if they introduce him to TV right, and feud him with Kane,
they may make something out of it.
all I’ve got. Next edition will feature a look at
the TNA PPV which I haven’t managed to watch yet.
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