Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name
is Chris and Derek better remember to get me my Kane Autograph!
never says please.
Well, there was a little fun to had from the episode, but
Vince McMahon has gotten all hot and bothered about the
whole Muhammad Hassan thing and I’m afraid he might
be our next WWE Champion (like he did with JBL after the
We opened with a recap of JBL getting pinned
by The Meanie. It was supposed to seem like a punishment,
but since the Meanie himself didn’t do the thing that
led to win, it doesn’t really count.
started and said that Rey Misterio wouldn’t be wrestling
and that he could make him do whatever he wanted because
of a little secret. Eddie’s wife and kids came out
and she worked the mic like a pro. They begged Eddie not
to say anything, but Eddie made them leave and backstage
they were arguing. This led Hardcore Holly to try and calm
Eddie down. That’s kinda like trying to put out a
fire with gunpowder. This led to pushing and a match for
later. I really don’t like this angle.
The Mexicools took on Funaki, Scotty 2 Hotty
and Paul London, who should start a team called The Remaining
Cruiserweights! It was a fun match, with Juvy starting out
by sending Scotty’s shoulder to the steel. Lots of
good double teaming going on in this one. Paul London made
a great tag and came in with DropSaults, Leg Whips and Spinning
Heel Kicks. He eventually tried for the 450, but SuperCrazy
knocked him off the top and hit a moonsault. The led The
Juice to go to the top and try his own 450, but somehow
he messed up and actually ended up with his shin going right
across Paul London’s face. Why does this stuff always
happen to Paul London? This gave the Mexicools the win in
a match that I think will only help them get over as a bad
Christian and Candace had a little bit backstage
where Christian said that he was a big star and everyone
was coming to him asking for advice. Booker T interrupted
and set up a match between him and Christian. Candace looked
There was an interview with Batista where
he basically said that he was a student of the Game and
JBL was a bully. Well duh.
winning the contest for the most flesh shown while still
wearing a full outfit, stopped Torrie who was about to sign
an autograph. She said that Torrie was old and that she
was only a Diva because there was no competition. Actually,
they had a big one last year; maybe you’ve heard of
it. Torrie then said that at the Great American Bash, she’d
take on Melina in a Bra and Panties match, which Melina
said was fine because the audience would never get to see
her in her bra and panties. Melina is so great in this role,
not to mention wicked made smokin’ hot.
Heidenreich made his way to the ring and
was jumped by MNM. This led to Road Warrior Animal coming
out and saying that he had been offended by MNM saying they
were the greatest tag team ever. I would agree, but I’d
go with the Midnight Express or the British Bulldogs instead
of LoD. They said they’d face the Road Warriors, but
then they remembered that Hawk was dead. Well, that was
classy. Heidenreich then said that he couldn’t be
Hawk, but he was Animal’s friend and wanted the chance
to team with him. Animal looked to be in bad shape, but
he got a great pop and a few chants.
Hardcore Holly and Eddie Guerrero had a
match that I thought was OK with moments of really good.
Eddie works so well as a heel, and here he did a lot of
eye poking, but it was the same way he worked as a face,
so it doesn’t feel that heelish. Holly got a nice
series of moves in, including an Electric Chair Drop and
the Full Nelson Slam. Eddie ‘accidentally’ poked
the ref in the eye and hit Holly in the leg with a pipe.
He put on the Texas Clover Leaf and got the win. This led
to Guerrero to apologize to his wife and challenge Rey to
a match at the Great American Bash, and that if he won,
he’d tell the secret, but if he lost, he’d keep
still, ya big baby. I'l get that eyelash..."
Muhammad Hassan’s Lawyer came out
and said that Mr. Hassan would not be appearing on SmackDown!
until he defeated the Undertaker at The Great American Bash.
This was a classic McMahon wanting to put it to the network
move, but the guy was pretty good. I still wish they’d
bring back Clarence Mason III, who did the gimmick better
than anyone. The Undertaker came out and chokeslammed the
Lawyer, making hundreds of divorced dads go ‘yeah!’
all at once.
Christian won a shocker over Booker T. He
attacked before the bell, taking him all over the outside.
After the beating outside, he brought him in to the ring
and gave him the Unprettier for the win. That was about
it. We got a big win for Christian, and maybe it will be
enough to start getting him up the ladder. He needs two
or three more (perhaps one over Rey and one against Benoit)
to really move up.
Batista and Orlando had a match that featured
about 15 minutes of commercials and JBL saying the same
thing over and over again before it got started. The match
itself wasn’t that good, though I’ve seen far
worse Batista matches. JBL interfered, ramming Batista’s
head into the steps while Jordan was distracting the ref.
After a ref bump, Batista hit a Spinebuster, but when he
went for a DemonBomb, JBL cracked him over the head with
a chair. Batista managed to kick out and clothesline JBL,
get the DemonBomb and the win. JBL gave Batista the Clothesline
from Hell after the match.
Uneven, but enjoyable.
No word on Brock, though that may be part of the deal, as
they did a similar thing with Matt Hardy. I still say they
should bring him in as a released guy and have him compete
on both Raw and SmackDown!. That would be cool.
Matt Hardy is in fact under a contract.
No word on the terms. Matt Stryker is not under a contract,
though he may show up as folks were really impressed with
word on some of the releases. Matt Morgan seems to have
turned down an offer from TNA. Word has it that money was
the main reason, with Morgan thinking he was worth more
than they offered. Charlie Haas is also looking at TNA,
though they’ve made no offers, but there is also talk
that he may end up working for indies and Ring of Honor,
where he’d fit right in. One of the big drawing points
for Haas is Jacky, and he has thought about doing Japan,
which would probably mean New Japan. I’d love to see
him mix it up with the boys in NOAH, though. Spike is thinking
Indies and is almost a lock for TNA. The Dudleys, who own
their gimmick, may be in TNA or they might try to join up
with Shane Douglas’ ECW-esque group. They’ll
be in huge demand.
I bought the Road Warriors DVD this week, though I haven’t
had time to watch much of it. I did watch a match that I
had always wanted to see: the SuperClash 1985 match between
the Road Warriors and The Fabulous Freebirds.
Warriors knew exactly how to work most of their matches,
which tended to be with semi-anonymous jobbers like Mike
Jackson (who was briefly in Southern Discomfort).
When they were put up against a big name team, and The Freebirds
were certainly that, they had to change their game plan.
They had to find a way to work the match so that they looked
like monsters and the other team got something too. This
actually worked very well in the Freebirds match.
The Freebirds came out to Georgia on My
Mind, which was the weirdest song that could ever be used
as a wrestling entrance. The Freebirds also painted their
faces with Confederate themed facepaint. That was cool.
They tried to make it Georgia vs. Chicago, which was weird
since the show was in Chicago. The Warriors were the faces
on the show, that’s for sure. The Warriors used their
muscles, including doing the multi-press slam on Terry Gordy,
who was almost the size of Animal at that point. The Freebirds
worked double teams and all sorts of fun moves. It was weird
to see Terry Gordy, probably the best moving big man working
in wrestling at that point, working as the bump taker instead
of as the big man.
Nope. No point to posting this picture at all.
Sadly, the ending marred the entire match.
A brawl broke out, with Buddy Jack Rodgers and Paul Ellering
brawling on the outside and all four others mixing it up
in and out of the ring. Godry brought a chair and hit Animal
with it, allowing Hayes to get the pin and the win. The
Freebirds celebrated on their way out of the ring and it
wasn’t until the next week’s TV that we were
told that we didn’t have new AWA tag team champs because
they had been DQed for the chair shot.
This was old timey brawling by big men.
It’s a great match for those of us who remember the
old days, and the entire DVD looks like a good reminder
of what I’ve been missing.
all for this week Enjoy Wedding
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