Welcome to Falls
Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and Scrollbar and the lappy
are together at last!
the editor doesn't understand me, either...
Another pretty good episode, marred slightly by a few of
the Diva Search contestants. It opened with an amazing video
recap of Shawn Michaels attacking Hulk Hogan. It’s
one of the things that the WWE does so well, and this one
led in to Carlito’s Cabana. Carlito came out and talked
about his show being the one that would break the biggest
news of the week and he called down Shawn Michaels, but
instead, Chris Jericho’s music hit and he came down.
The two of them riffing on each other was Hi-Larious, especially
when Chris Jericho said “I know what cool is, I’m
Canadian! Call me Chris Canadian Cool!” I was dying.
he called Carlito Sideshow Bob, which got a huge laugh.
Jericho said that The Highlight Reel was the originator
and I totally knew that would bring out Piper faster than
a producer shopping around a B-Action flick. He said that
his was the original, called Carlito "Buckwheat,"
and said that he would get Michaels in Piper’s Pit.
That got a great pop and Piper looked better than he has
in a while. Really strong mic work here.
had his best match to date (not saying much, but still)
by taking on Tajiri. Masters had control to start, but Tajiri
came back with a bunch of great kicks. After he had his
lead, Masters dropped Tajiri on his face and then got the
Masterlock. It was a simple, and short, match that allowed
Tajiri to do most of the work and I wasn’t bored.
For Chris Masters, that’s a big win.
and the lappy are together at last!
Kane will be
at ComicCon this Friday. Derek, you better get me an autograph!
Edge and Lita
are lounging around in the back, watching their wedding
video. Gene Snitsky comes in and watches with them as they
talk about the ploys they pulled, especially the Matt Hardy
tease. Edge had the line of the night: “He should
thank me for getting the biggest pop of his life.”
Edge then said that he wanted Snitsky to watch his back,
and also mentioned that the big man had a foot fetish and
that Edge might let them play across Snitsky’s back
if he watched Edge’s. This was low comedy, and up
close, you can see the ‘roid acne all over our pal
Benjamin and Carlito had a match that was pretty good. Shelton
is going to be the next Bret Hart. Bret took years to get
to the main event and had to endure a lot of crap to get
there. Shelton is about a year away from that and they are
using him pretty smartly to get him up to that level. There
was a great segment pretty early where Carlito dropkicked
Shelton. Shelton kipped up while Carlito had his back turned.
He then stumbled back into Shelton and when he realised
that, he hightailed it out of the ring. Nice touch!
the commercial break, things pick up in pace, including
Shelton doing this Facebuster thing into his knee TWICE!
Sweet. Carlito gets his belt, but the ref tosses it outside.
Shelton shows that he loved Jake the Snake as much as I
did and he give Carlito a couple of Short-arm Clotheslines!
They do a great series of suplex blocks, with Carlito trying
to suplex Shelton out and Shelton trying to bring Carlito
in. They block each other and eventually it ends up with
Shelton getting the Whip Kick. Carlito ends up on the outside
and is counted out to give Benjamin the win, but not the
belt. Really good match.
comes out to a really good pop and starts to run down Bischoff.
Bisch comes out and says that Cena ain’t the man and
that Bischoff makes the rules. This brings out Chris Jericho
who says that Cena doesn’t deserve the title. It’s
not a bad segment, as all the guys involved can talk, but
it was pretty standard. Great ending line: “Welcome
to the new RAW, bitch”
The Diva Search
was next, with the first girl eliminated being the one who
said ‘to be the woman you have to beat the woman.’
Good-bye Alexis, we’ll see you in the Hugh Grant police
report. The remaining ladies did their stuff, including
a body-painting that was awful. The two who are obviously
being pushed for this round are Ashley and Leyla. Ashley
said that she was there to be a wrestler and actually gave
Christy Hemme a nice Monkey-Flip! She may not win the contest,
but with that one move, she won my heart. Leyla danced for
Earl Hebner, but then gave him a low blow for covering her
up last week. Nice touch. The rest sucked. Vote Ashley!!!
Kurt Angle had
his challenge and when he asked the guy what his name was
he said Matt Martell. Kurt then said that wasn’t his
name and that his name was Matt Striker and he was the guy
who had been fired for lying about sick days and wrestling
instead. The two then had a little match where Striker looked
pretty good. The WWE loves to have the guys who are in the
press right after they get their name out, but I could almost
see this being an angle that runs for a while. Kurt won
the Three Minute Challenge in 2:59 seconds with the Ankle
Lock. Fun take on the Angle Invitational.
doesn't look sick to me...
Edge and Lita
are walking to the ring, but MATT HARDY jumps him and beats
on Edge until Johnny Ace and co come out and he runs off.
Edge and Kane have their match and it’s pretty typical.
Snitsky comes out and hits Kane on the outside with a chair
to give him the DQ win. Matt Hardy runs out and again and
beats on Edge until he’s run out of the ring. Matt
then grabs the mic, calls Lita a whore and has security
and all the agents on him, handcuffing him. They totally
played it off like a Brian Pillman angle from 1995.
Pit closed the show. Piper called out Michaels and asked
him why he did what he did. Michaels rambled and said that
he wanted Hogan’s One Last Match to be against him
at SummerSlam. Piper took back the mic and said that Michaels
didn’t answer his question (which I think he did)
and then went old school face on him. He was really working
in a Bill Watts style here saying that he wanted Michaels
to tell him why and just as he called him a coward, Michaels
Superkicked him! Nice touch. Great way to end a really good
Brock hasn’t signed, but he’s talking about
signing on the WWE website, which means that they’re
probably just trying to hammer out details.
return was a last minute deal, though they had been talking
about it, and he will honor all the engagements that he
set up as an Independent, which includes Ring of Honor this
Saturday against The Fallen Angel, Chris Daniels.
waiting for THESE Hardy Boys to return...
of Famer Shinya Hashimoto died on Sunday at the age of 40.
He was a giant star during the period of New Japan’s
greatest success. He was the pudgy guy who kicked people
really hard. He came up with guys like Muto and Chono, and
held the IWGP title a couple of times.
I got a video from Blockbuster that I had no idea about.
It was called Southern Discomfort, a documentary
about an Outlaw wrestling show in Alabama. I don’t
remember adding it to my queue, but I must have. It turned
out to be a documentary that disappointed and made up for
it at the same time.
The doc starts
out following the promoter, Col. David F. Freidman, as he
tacks posters up on the sides of barns. He talks about running
the show without permits and where the best places to put
up signs are. It’s an interesting portion, as it looks
at the promoter and tries to show what these outlaw guys
go through. Sadly, we don’t stay with the Colonel
too long as the director seemed more interested in the wrestlers
and the wrestling.
of the wrestlers that you see are so small time that you’d
have to dig through Observer show results to find any mention
of them. This show was done sometime in the 1990s (my guess
is 1995, but could have been as early as 1993 or as late
as 1997). The wrestlers are interesting, as we have guys
like Bullet Bob Armstrong, The Iron Sheik, Shanghai Pierce,
Bambi and Peggy Lee Leather mixed in with local guys like
The Flame, Power Ranger and Rick Montana.
strange thing is that all the wrestling is terrible. There
are crap moves, terrible selling, the ropes are loose and
the guys move slow, but at the same time it’s a throw-back
to the old days when heels acted evil and the crowd got
so mad they’d stand up and yell at the wrestlers.
There’s a great moment, when The Flame, who runs a
Senior’s Buffet when he’s not wrestling, is
being taunted by a group of kids and when he turns and growls,
they scatter. That’s old school.
It's a blow-up Luchador.
they stick with the matches, it’s a weak DVD, but
when they talk with the wrestlers, it gets good. There are
some great Southern promos going on. These guys would never
have a chance to make the big time because they’re
too old and don’t have the bodies that Vince and Eric
were looking for at the time, but they know how to talk
and to get a rise out of the crowd.
with The Flame and Rick Montana (who sets up the ring) is
a highlight, showing how much love and passion there is
for the art of wrestling. The Iron Sheik does and interesting
discussion saying that he ‘love America, kids, don’t
use drugs’ and then does his hell bit later. One of
the ways I dated this back to the 1990s is that Sheik still
wrestled without a shirt.
best sections all involve Bullet Bob Armstrong. He’s
the dad of The Road Dogg Jesse James and Brad Armstrong,
who used to be a good tag wrestler with Tim Horner as the
Lightning Express. He’d been around for 30+ years
and he had all sorts of stories, including how The Million
Dollar Man Ted DiBiase almost killed him when he was working
out and how they reconstructed his face. He talks about
the sport, what it means, why he let his sons get into the
business and much more.
a great little segment where Bambi, also known as Selina
Majors, cracked a rib and Bullet Bob is standing around
talking about how it’s much harder when you crack
one in the back where you can’t hold it to help you
breathe. It’s hilarious because she’s sucking
wind and he’s having a jolly ol’ time chattin’
her up. It made me laugh.
a little bit of bad direction, like when he pulls back on
Bambi through a door, and the cuts tend to be too late or
too soon, but overall, it’s an amazing look at wrestling
that flew even lower than anything they covered in Beyond
The Mat. It’s not as good as that, or The
Backyard, but it’s a fun look at an interesting
part of wrestling that most of us never get to see.
all for this edition. Next time I’ll do a look at
why the WWE is on solid ground, and why that’s bad.
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