Welcome to a
short Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and somehow,
I made it through another Independence Day with all my fingers.
I lost my left nipple.
Carlito’s Cabana continues to be the best Wrestling
Talk Segment in the World. His guest was Hogan. Carlito
plugged Hogan’s TV show, which to my dismay is not
called The Hogan Family, and said that Hulk’s
daughter is hot.
Angle came out and said that he made Hogan and everyone
tap in his day and Hogan punched Kurt. This led to Carlito
jumping Hogan and Shawn Michaels making the save. I really
liked this segment. Carlito should be a bigger star than
Kane and Big
Show beat Edge and Snitsky in another ‘Let’s
not let Edge get any Momentum’ match. They’ve
really soured on him for some reason, perhaps using it as
‘punishment’ for the Hardy thing so they can
get Matt back in the fold (and there have been talks). Edge
and Snitsky did a nice Double Clothesline off the Top, but
then they went for a Double Suplex on Show, but he reversed
it on them. Kane pinned Snitsky with the Chokeslam.
You know, the
WWE is trying to make The Heart Throbs work, but they give
them so little to work with. In this case, so little was
Viscera. In a very nice touch, Lillian Garcia started to
cry while she was announcing Big Viz. The match wasn’t
good, and the Throbs got DQed because they crotched Viscera
on the post. After the match, The Throbs kissed Lillian.
These guys could be carrying a real tag division if they
were given the chance to do their full gimmick and got wins
over real teams. Sadly, I don’t see that happening
any time soon.
bits time with Maria and Chavito. Maria asked why he had
changed his look, and honestly when I saw him I thought
they’d brought in the guy who worked at Central Perk
from Friends, and he responded that he’s
shucked his Hispanic heritage because it’s gotten
him nowhere. He then said that he’d changed his name
to Kerwin White.
more of a basketball name, really.
then asked what kind of name is Maria, and he answered his
own question saying that it was a stupid name. Maria then
did a duck face that was supposed to let us know that she
was sad. This was followed by Fire Safety with Hurricane,
Stacey and Rosie. Rosie caught fire and Hurricane put him
out with an extinguisher, but Rosie, when he went out of
camera range, dropped the f-bomb rather audibly. This was
followed up by Maria being consoled by John Cena who said
that she should accentuate the positive (her chest) and
eliminate the negatives (her brains). Maria smiled. Cena
got a great pop when he was shown on screen.
Reel was up, and I really think it was lame in comparison
to The Cabana. Cena and Jericho jawed, and Cena did a great
job getting over that he thinks that Jericho is a punk.
Jericho slapped him and they brawled. Cena is great at the
talk, but he’s almost nothing in the ring. In the
old days, they could have done the traveling challengers,
making sure they brought in any of a hundred great workers
to take on the Champ, but without that option, I don’t
know how they’re gonna keep Cena working.
was awful, but at the same time HOT. Elisabeth won immunity
from getting bumped off with a time of 35 seconds. A girl
lost her pants and another lost her top. Elisabeth and Ashley
are my two faves this time. Ashley is HOT. This was long
and dull, but the crowd seemed to enjoy it. Oddly, this
actually worked because it had the name of the contestant
next to their time for the course so the audience could
connect names to bodies…I mean faces.
like watching a trainwreck, except you get really
really tired afterward...
In a match that
lasted less than two minutes, Rene Dupree, a part of the
big trade that ended up with RAW getting the best mid-carders,
pinned Val Venis. Venis was a big star a few years ago and
he’s a guy with a gimmick that would be recognizable
if they gave him a push and time. Having him working with
The Divas would be awesome, and it could give him a push
that would make him a star again.
The main event
was really big. The match itself was OK, with Angle working
with Michaels to start and Carlito later. It was a good
match with Michaels in there and it ended with the predictable
finish of Hogan tagging in and getting the win with the
Boot and the Leg Drop. The pop and the celebration afterwards
plays "Kick the Clown."
The entire place
was shocked. Michaels just stares at the fallen Hogan, and
the crowd has just been socked in the gut by this strange
turn of events. Michaels walks to the back without looking
show that’ll be incredibly low-rated. You can’t
compete with fireworks.
Not too much. Last Monday was the highest rated RAW of the
year. The first number the WWE has released for One Night
Stand was 265K. There are people in the company, and even
more in the cable industry, that say the WWE is underreporting.
It wouldn’t surprise me, and it’s also possible
that they don’t have enough info yet. I’m still
saying 500k is a possibility, and it’s possible that
this only represents the first buys and not the replays.
No one is sure yet. The DVD, ECW
- One Night Stand, is selling very well.
gotta be all for today. On Friday, a full Falls!
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