to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and I went to Seattle
and it rained. Go figure.
powers of observation,
opened with Tazz in the ring and The Big Show coming out.
This was a serviceable promo, but Luther Reigns came out
driving his Jeep. Luther talked a bit and then said that
he was going to roll the Jeep over. Of course he couldn’t
Show got rid of Reigns then tried to tip the Jeep over.
It didn’t work the first few tries, but eventually
(and I believe with the help of TV magic) he managed to
push it over. The most impressive thing in my eyes was the
way The Big Show slapped the windshield and it shattered
so nicely. Not a good segment, but still, I’m into
the Akebono thing.
was a weird match for the US Title. Orlando Jordan, the
Heavyweight Champion of the United States as they called
him, took on Scotty 2 Hotty. Scotty stood in JBL’s
face a bit and JBL slapped him with his hat. This was followed
by Scotty Superkicking JBL and that seemed to make the match
Bradshaw vs. Scotty, which was won with the Clothesline
from Hell. Weird.
Caribbean Cool had to do an Elvis imitation all night. He
was awful, but it was pretty funny. I really like Carlito
and I hope when he gets better and returns that he’s
able to make the most of the push he was getting just as
he went down to injury.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio match was made for Mania
as a way to push the Guerrero turn, though something tells
me that it might be a swerve and they’ll turn Rey-rey.
The way Chavo pushed Eddie into the match makes me curious.
The tag champions, who will meet at Mania, took on Bob Holly
and Charlie Haas.
the Champs enter the ring, the lights go out and the Undertaker,
who had promised a human sacrifice, seemed to be coming,
but he did not. The match started after a commercial and
it wasn’t half-bad, though the Holly/Haas team isn’t
exactly going to set the world on fire. They had another
blackout and another set of commercials. The finish was
Rey hitting a Plancha on Holly as Eddie got the Frog Splash
on Haas for the pin.
moment of the year to date, Kurt Angle came out to "Sexy
Boy," the Shawn Michaels theme, with Sherri Martel,
Shawn’s former manager. While she doesn’t look
like she’s stayed in shape, she did still bust out
some of her classic cleavage. Kurt made the most of his
entrance and then he and Sherri did a live rendition of
"Sexy Boy" which was brilliant. Shawn Michaels
appeared on the TitanTron and they showed a great video
of his highlights. Sherri appreciated this montage and Kurt
put her in an ankle lock. Great stuff. I’m really
hyped for this match!
don't let your mamas grow up to be wrestlers...
Michelle McCool, who is hot, lost to Dawn
Marie, who is hotter ‘an a Times Square copy of Star
Wars. This was an awful, awful, terrible match.
still in his Elvis get up, was interviewed by Funaki. Funaki
then did a bit of his Elvis, then Carlito dropped him with
a guitar shot and followed that up by spitting apple onto
him. Poor Funaki, from Cruiserweight Champ to this in less
than a month.
T and Rene Dupree had a match scheduled, but The Undertaker
interrupted. Booker, apparently remembering his angle where
he was afraid of UT, bailed and left Rene to get beat on,
including taking a Tombstone onto the Steel steps. That
was a cool visual, but ruining a match that would have been
decent wasn’t my favorite of ways to go with it. Still,
UT is trying to build some interest in the Randy Orton match.
He seems to be failing.
I hate wrestling debates, save for the one
where Ken Patera put the belt around Bobby Heenan’s
neck and tossed him around. This one was no better than
any of the others I’ve seen, but the ending was OK.
First off, no matter how you’re going to end a wrestling
debate, do not use it as a closer for a show. Second, if
you’re gonna have two guys who do good promos do a
debate, make sure the face wins in his points, because JBL
just shredded him in this one. The finish was Cena filling
JBL’s hat with water, then he spraypainted him. This
No-Touch rule is kinda funny.
Not a terrible episode, but nothing fantastic.
Kurt easily had the highlight of the night.
RAW and SmackDown! both did completely average numbers for
recent times. Not surprising. The Mania ads are playing
in all the AMC theatres around the country (I saw one with
and one with Be Cool)
and they are hoping for one million buys. It’ll be
tough, but they have a shot.
There’s a lot of press stuff this
week for the WWE folks, mostly Austin, HHH and Hogan. There’s
a lot of talk about a surprise at WrestleMania. Some folks
are clinging to the hope that Bret Hart will show up, though
I’ve been told over and over that it’s not happening.
Some are saying that it might be Foley or Rock, and neither
would overly surprise me.
The last edition of RAW before WrestleMania opened with
the Highlight Reel and all six guys who will be in the Ladder
Match at WrestleMania. It was a pretty typical segment that
ended in a brawl.
to say that the match hasn’t been built the way they
should have gone about it, but the match itself will probably
be really good. The brawl led to a match with Shelton/Jericho
and Benoit taking on Edge, Christian and Tyson Tomko. This
was a good match where everyone did their thing. Jericho
got Tomko to submit, but Christian attacked Jericho with
the Ladder. Kane came in and started layin’ down the
law, hittin’ a chokeslam and standing over everyone
on the ladder. This did build some more interest.
Stratus is the female version of HHH. There’s no one
else in her league, even though at times Lita has come close.
Why, WHY is she being dumped on a program with Christy Hemme?
Christy beat Trish twice in short fashion, so Trish went
buckwild on Lillian Garcia and Lita. What a waste of Trish.
puzzles only Garcia.
Randy Orton did a post-turn interview where
he basically said that he was back to his old ways and that
Stacey was a distraction. This was actually a well-delivered
interview and it may be the start of the road to erase the
whole ill-advised turn. Still, Orton’s got a real
rough road ahead of him.
William Regal and Tajiri beat Simon Dean
and Maven. This was a completely average match with almost
nothing behind it. Still, I love it when Regal gets airtime.
Michaels beat Muhammad Hassan by Disqualification in their
big match. I actually kinda liked this one. Hassan was given
most of the offense, and he decided to use a lot of rest
holds, though I think if he changed them to more serious
looking rest holds and had Daivari work the crowd, his style
could get over. Daivari and Hassan both put Michaels back
around the ringpost, and that was followed by a Michaels
comeback. Just as he was about to go for the Sweet Chin
Music, Angle came in for the DQ. He tried an Angle Slam
on Michaels, but HBK escaped and hit Hassan with the Sweet
Chin Music. Like I said, I kinda enjoyed this one.
The big Contract Signing between HHH and
Batista was the first time I really felt that Batista came
off as a World Champion-type Superstar. The crowd was so
into him that it felt like one of the early days of The
Rock’s run. There was a big chant for Batista, and
he got wild cheers. HHH said that Batista was nothing before
H, which is true, and Batista thanked HHH and Flair, especially
Flair, for everything they did for him. HHH slapped Batista
and a scuffle happened, ending up with the two of them being
and HBK in happier days.
I thought much of this episode was pretty
average, but it did build the matches for Mania. Angle vs.
Michaels is a great match, but it comes across better on
SmackDown! than on RAW.
all for this week, as the Sonoma Valley Film Festival runs
this weekend and I’m gonna be there. When I get back,
there’ll be great mounds of reviews and fun to report.
about today's column in the forums!