Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and the film I produced,
The Chick Magnet, shows on Saturday at the San Jose
Well, this was an OK episode of SmackDown, though far from
a great one. They built the episode around JBL having a
party to celebrate being the longest reigning WWE champion
in a decade. Well, Diesel did have a year-long run starting
in 1994 and ending in 1995, so his portion of the reign
that fell within the ten year time frame was less than JBL’s
current reign. How’s that for justification?
The Bashems took on Eddie Guerrero and Rey
Mysterio for the tag team titles. I really thought they
were going to turn Eddie here and have the Bashems win the
title, but they did no such thing. Everyone worked hard
and there are worse ideas than to have these two teams engage
in an actual feud over the belts. Rey did his thing and
so did Eddie. Eddie has been very open about why he wanted
the belt taken off of him, but since then he’s been
floundering. This was a good match and the team with Rey,
though one of convenience, works. Rey hit the 619 and Eddie
followed with the Frog Splash. Good stuff.
did the Le Jetée version of the Cena vs.
Angle match from No Way Out. It looked good in still format,
Orlando Jordan invited all the lovely ladies
of SmackDown! to the ring for the JBL celebration.
Kurt Angle Invitational this week featured
the contender mocking Kurt for losing to Cena. This was
a bad idea, as he really let the guy have it after that,
picking him up when he had a chance to pin him before finally
getting him to tap to the ankle lock. Tazz came into the
ring and asked him about the match with HBK. Kurt stood
there for a moment and then left without saying anything.
Heidenreich did some poetry. It sucked.
celebration was long, tired and felt like one of those old
Memphis bits. This was obviously designed to get Cena over,
but before he hit the ring, The Big Show came out to destroy
the Cabinet, which he did. He then went for JBL, but the
Cabinet came back and beat Big Show down. John Cena came
out and the place went nuts. They’re doing a pretty
good job getting Cena over with this here plotline. Jordan
had presented Bradshaw with a painting, which meant that
Cena was going to smash it over JBL’s head, which
he did. Theodore R. Long then did a promo saying that as
long as he was in charge, he’s going to keep making
matches. This led to him announcing Cena/Show vs. JBL/Orlando
Jordan. Not a good segment, but it did serve an OK purpose.
always, the party was lovely until the oaf got there.
Chavito beat Funaki in a Cruiserweight title
match. It wasn’t a bad little match, though it had
no heat. After the match, Paul London attacked Chavo and
tossed him out of the ring. He has Kerry Von Erich’s
beat Luther Reigns and Mark Jindraik. This was a really
bad match basically made to get the break between Luther
and Jindraik so that they can feud. Undertaker used a Triangle
Choke to win.
Teddy Long came out and said that it might
be his last night as GM. Carlito joined him and then Linda
McMahon came on screen and told Carlito to stop calling
Titan Towers and that Theodore R. Long would remain the
GM. This was a funny little bit and the crowd chanted for
Teddy. Theodore then said that he was planning on making
Carlito’s life a living hell. Good for him. I really
liked this part and Teddy was great.
The big match to finish wasn’t very
good, which was expected with who was in there, but it also
didn’t advance much. This was where you give JBL the
first blood, as he should have attacked Cena and bloodied
him up, but instead they go for a boring match and have
Cena pin Jordan. There were far better ways to do this.
There is still talk of Akebono vs. The Big Show at Mania.
This would be a fun "little" match, though it
would suck. They’d get a lot of press in Japan for
it and could probably parlay it into a Tokyo Dome sell-out
for a rematch.
No word on Brock’s lawsuit. There
was talk about some discussions between the two sides being
scheduled, but I haven’t heard of anything concrete
happening. The WWE isn’t in the best of positions
for this one, and they know it. They’ll come up with
to send some get well soons to Joyce Katz, the wife of Arnie
“The Kingfish” Katz of Pro Wrestling Daily.
RAW this week was much like a lot of PPVs lately: a mixed
bag to start, but ended with a great and hard fought match
of top-notch quality.
The opener was HHH coming out in his wrestling
garb saying that he was going to tear Batista apart. This
must have tripped Hurricane’s Injustice Meter as he
came out and got beat on, including a Pedigree on the ramp.
This may have been an official match, though I don’t
think the bell ever rang. This made HHH look mean.
close as we're ever going to get...
Chris Benoit and Muhammad Hassan had their
match that they set up last week. The match wasn’t
good, as Hassan is awful in the ring. He does have a couple
of cool moves, like the back suplex into the backbreaker.
Hassan worked Chris’ back and Benoit did what he could.
As usual, Daivari’s outside the ring antics were the
best things about this match.
To the surprise of no one, Hulk Hogan will
be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Now all they need
is to patch things up with Bruno Sanmartino, Bob Backlund,
Ivan Koloff, Bret Hart and induct Pedro Morales and the
WWE Hall of Fame might actually be thought of as something
legit. They also announced that Steve Austin would be on
Piper’s Pit at WrestleMania. That sounds like a recipe
Masterpiece Chris Masters, fresh from mangling Steven Richards'
face so bad he had to get surgery, beat some guy with the
Full Nelson. I like the fact that the Full Nelson is back
as a finisher; I just wish it wasn’t Chris Masters
who was using it.
Jim Ross interviewed Batista in the ring.
Batista complained that RAW had always been about HHH, which
is fair, I think. The interview wasn’t great. Batista
has great ring personality, but he’s nowhere near
as effective on the mic. They should have also turned Flair
and made him Batista’s manager, but they could still
find someone to manage him. Flair and HHH came out and they
circled the ring. Batista caught Flair and beat hima bit,
then he challenged HHH to come in and fight. HHH refused.
They did this four times and HHH never wanted anything to
do with Batista. Great way to get over that HHH is a cowardly
heel not wanting to face Batista. This was the highlight
of the Batista turn so far.
Chris Jericho beat Maven. Maven is highly
not over. Jericho took the mic and said that he wanted a
match to make an impact at Mania. He then muttered something
about six guys and a ladder. I’m intrigued.
showed the newest WrestleMania commercial with John Cena
and JBL doing the A Few Good Men scene on the stand.
JBL came off so great in this. He did a solid job playing
the Jack role. I was most impressed.
Christy showed off her new Playboy cover.
Trish came out and the King said ‘She wants to get
a closer look at the new cover’ in a delicious double
entendre. She was about to spraypaint the cover when Christy
slapped her. Trish came back and laid out Christy with a
Chick Kick that broke her shoes. Trish then spraypainted
SLUT across her back, proving that Trish is now a part of
the Trish World Order.
Superstar Billy Graham did a segment with
Randy Orton saying that he should do something special and
memorable. Randy then took a look at SmackDown! Magazine
with the Undertaker on the cover. Poor Orton. From heir
apparent to HHH to getting fed to the Undertaker in less
than a year. Unless they give him the big win over UT. Nah,
it’ll never happen.
Shawn Michaels and Edge had a match that
was bloody, brutal and just plain good. A decent amount
of heat here too. They did a great streetfight, with garbage
can lid shots, solid chairshots, and a Singapore Cane. Michales
bled all over the place in this one. Michaels brought out
a ladder and the first few times he tried to use it, it
was turned on him and he ended up taking a drop toe hold
into the ladder. So much blood. This was a Come as You Are
match, so Michaels was wearing jeans and both guys were
wearing heavy boots. Michaels got the win with the Sweet
Chin Music, and after the match…well, that’s
when Kurt Angle made his appearance.
Kurt gave Shawn an overhead suplex, a few
punches and the Angle Slam. I can’t remember the last
time Angle was on RAW. Was he ever on RAW? This was a great
way to set up the match between the two of them and I’m
so excited. The crowd was very into that finish.
all for this week, since I’ll be at Cinequest with
my movie (The Chick Magnet) and writing reviews
of all that which hits the screen. I’ll do a double
about today's column in the forums!