Welcome to Falls
Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and NPR is a harsh mistress.
long to be Torrie.
Well, with my coming back from the Auto Shop, I didn’t
catch the first couple of segments. I understand that a
Triple Threat Match between Victoria, Trish and Molly took
place and Trish got the win and there were a couple of other
talkin’ segments, one with HHH and Flair about Batista,
one with Candace Michelle and Trish.
I strolled in, Simon Dean was tapping to Chris Jericho’s
Walls. This wasn’t a good place to walk in.
Shawn Michaels vs Kurt Angle match at WrestleMania was made
official with Shawn asking Theodore R. Long for the match
and it being granted. This wasn’t how they should
have done it, but at least it announces the match that I’m
most excited for.
Kane beat Tyson
Tomko, who said that he should be the focus of the promotion,
not Batista. Well, if you substituted tattoos and gave him
more hair on his head and less on his chin, he may be able
to play Batista.
showed up and ran into Flair, telling him to watch his match.
Since we all knew that Batista was jumping Evolution’s
ship, my guess is that they are planning on putting Masters
in Evolution, perhaps even doing the Lex Luger Associate
Horseman thing that started Flexy Lexy on his way.
Hassan came out to the ring just as I entered carrying my
glass of Sunny D. He complained that everyone should be
treated equal on Presidents' Day, but I say if you’re
not an actual president, it’s not your day. He said
he was the only one not getting the same treatment as everyone
else. Benoit came out and Hassan jumped him and put him
in the Camel Clutch while Daivari did his schtick. I love
Daivari! I can’t wait until they turn him.
Michaels and Randy Orton wrestled a reunited Edge and Christian.
The last time Edge teamed with Christian, they had some
big problems and Edge left Christian lying. In a rare instance
of follow-though-itism, JR and The King mentioned that.
This was a really good match with lots of back and forth.
Orton worked harder than normal, and he tends to work pretty
hard. Edge and Christian didn’t seem to work together
as they used to, which was part of the story of the match.
They went for a conchairto, but Shawn ducked and hit the
Sweet Chin Music for the pin. Really good match. After the
match, an out of control Edge beat on Shawn Michaels.
Chris Masters showed up in the ring to face Steven Richards.
The crowd didn’t seem to react very strongly, though
they were standing for the intro. It was just another Lex
Luger Narcissist, but it wasn’t nearly as bad in execution
as that failed angle. He used a Full Nelson to get the pin,
which I’ve though is due for a comeback as a finisher.
got the DQ win over Shelton Benjamin when Shelton did a
baseball slide into Snitsky as he went for a chair. Shelton
took the chair and then Whammy!
Flair and HHH had a segment where H admitted that he was
the guy behind all of the videos and the Limo deal last
week. Flair was quite impressed, but Batista was listening
right outside the door. I really thought they could have
done a great angle here where Flair got himself a conscience
and when it came time for the Batista turn, he would have
told Big Dave and gone with him to manage the big man. No
such luck, though.
They closed things
with Theodore R. Long and Eric Bischoff making pitches to
Batista to sign their contract. HHH then gave his speech
where he said they could be bigger than The Horsemen or
DX by holding both the Bling-bling belt and the SmackDown!
title. Big Dave then picked up the SmackDown! contract,
did the thumbs down and attacked Flair and HHH, eventually
powerbombing H through the table in the centre of the ring.
The crowd was into this, but not to the rabid level they
would have wanted.
An OK show, with
a solid ending and one great match.
So, I watched the Ultimate Fighter for the first time and
I’ll say it was like Tough Enough with in-ring storylines.
The entire thing was built around the Leben vs. Koscheck
fight. Leben, a striker, was the heel, constantly saying
that he wanted to break Koscheck’s jaw. The build-up
was really good, as Leben was a total heel and Koscheck
was simply a guy who was nearly a face, but not quite.
fight itself wasn’t great. It was that Koscheck didn't
really win the fight; he would just take Leben down and
hold him, maybe working a few short punches and looking
for an opening, but it was Leben who lost the fight by not
doing any damage to Koscheck at all. He did try a couple
of submissions, both of which Koscheck got out of with little
problem. Koscheck got the unanimous decision, which was
the only way they could have gone as Leben didn’t
do any damage and after the first round was totally sucking
wind and Koscheck looked calm.
After the match,
Koscheck said “there’s your ticket home”
and Dana White had to keep the two of them separated so
they wouldn’t start fighting again. Leben kept saying
it wasn’t over. He then started crying on the outside
and asked Dana if he wanted a guy who “just lay on
top of you” for the UFC. I kinda agree that he didn’t
do much and wasn’t on the level of a real UFC fighter,
but the liability of being a striker is that you have to
do damage, and Leben didn’t. He left it to the judges
and headed home. Leben will probably still manage to get
himself into the ranked section of the UFC, since this was
only his second loss in 18 or so fights. Leben and Kocheck
will probably fight again on a UFC PPV in the future, which
will be interesting.
I was unimpressed with No Way Out. The undercard wasn’t
good. It was so bad that I fast-forwarded almost all of
Eddie and Rey
Mysterio won the Tag Titles by beating the Bashems. This
wasn’t a bad match, but it wasn’t great either.
The guys worked well, but it wasn’t spectacular. They
did the ending where Rey tossed Eddie the belt and he clocked
one of the Bashems for the win.
They did the
Evening Gown competition and it looked like Joy won that
section easily. They spent way too much time on these Diva
Booker T was up and it was the worst match in a long time
for Booker. Heidenreich just can’t work, and his selling
is idiotic. Booker seemed like he didn’t even want
to try because he knew it would be useless. Heidenreich
got DQ’ed for using the chair to the throat.
Eddie gave John
Cena a talk, saying that he didn’t realize how huge
the opportunity he was getting actually was. The victory
party for Eddie and Rey was a small, private affair.
match was an attempt to get Paul London over. They did it
as a Gauntlet match, with London and Funaki starting. London
beat Funaki, Spike and Shannon Moore in less than five minutes.
Then he beat Akio after a Double Knock-out spot where London
got up at 9 to get the win. Chavo then entered and won the
title by pinning London. Not a good way to get the Cruisers
did the talent portion of the Diva event and it powerful
sucked. Dawn Marie was out to mock them. Joy’s talent
was giving Torrie a massage. Oh, how I long to be Torrie.
Michelle McCool bodyslammed Dawn as her talent, which I
think won her that segment.
vs. Undertaker will always be remembered for one thing:
the snot running down Luther’s nose. That’s
right, Luther seemed to have the sniffles and ended up with
a runny nose. Poor little thing. The match sucked.
The big surprise
in the Angle vs. Cena match was that there was no Shawn
Michaels involvement. The match was very good, pretty much
saving the show from a King of the Ring 1995 level. They
worked a competitive match and Cena looked really good.
Cena kept escaping Ankle Lock attempts. Angle just kept
going though you could tell he was hurting. The match ended
with Cena getting the clean FU for the pin. Really good
way to get Cena ready for the Main Event.
JBL beat Big
Show in the Barbed Wire Cage Match. There was a lot of blood
and JBL did some great selling. He’d have made the
perfect 1987 US Champion. The finish was Big Show chokeslamming
JBL through the ring! As Big Show walked towards the door,
JBL managed to crawl out from under the ring and be declared
the winner. That was a creative ending, I must say.
The Cabinet was
beating on Show and Batista came out to make the save. Cena
then beat on JBL. Cena and Batista also stared down a bit
as we went out.
Not a good PPV,
aside from Joy winning the Diva contest. The last two matches
and the Eddie and Rey match were at least good.
all for this week. I’ll do a big double-shot in a
about today's column in the forums!