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Falls Count Anywhere


Go down to the store and get mama a pack of Kools.
Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere, my name's Chris and I’m enjoying my stories.

OK, if you’re a lover of stories, and happen to be a fan of wrestling, the Royal Rumble is for you. There are 30 wrestlers, each of which can be used to tell a story, if needs be. The 2010 Royal Rumble was full of great stories, but three really stood out.

First, there was CM Punk. Punk was in there early, and that allowed them to come up with a really strong tale for him to tell. Punk cleared the ring, and Serena (the hottest woman with a shaved head I’ve ever seen!) tossed him a mic and allowed him to make his Straight Edge Society speech. After a bit, JTG of Cryme Tyme came out and Punk tossed him and did more xStraightEdgeX stuff. Hat was cool. The next guy was the Great Khali. Punk tried to save him, had him raise his right hand, but Khali turned it into a chop. The next competitor came out: Beth Phoenix.

That was a surprise. I love Beth Phoenix, and I’m glad she’s in the WWE, but she really didn’t need to be in the Rumble, but she did make it possible to eliminate Khali with an interesting bit. She climbed up onto the apron and Khali came over to her and she grabbed him and kissed him. As she was kissing him, she leaned back and over the top went Khali.

It was a fun piece of work, then Phoenix got into the ring, clotheslined Punk and actually had him up for the Go 2 Sleep, but Punk got out and then gave her the Go 2 Sleep and tossed her out. That was awesome. It was a lot of fun and the crowd was into Punk, who has serious heat behind the scenes -- so much so people seem to have forgotten Melena is on the roster.

Zach Ryder came in, Punk had the mic, he hit Zach with it and tossed him. It was very cool. Sadly, it all ended with HHH coming in. They brawled a bit, Drew McIntyre came in, and then Punk went for the Go 2 Sleep on HHH, who grabbed the knee and tossed him out.

There are two ways to look at that. HHH killed another guy’s heat by tossing him. On the other hand, HHH is, like it or not, a big name and him tossing Punk doesn’t exactly elevate him, but it does make him look important. Punk has a great gimmick (he won Best Gimmick in the Observer awards) and he is a fan favorite, but he has heat in the back. What are you gonna do?

The Rumble went on and folks came and went. The biggest shocker was that Shawn Michaels actually Superkicked HHH and eliminated him. To me, that made me think that he was going to win the whole thing, as H would only let the eventual winner toss him out. There was actually an impressive moment when R-Truth (Ron Killings) eliminated both Mark Henry (who along with The Great Khali, Chris Jericho, and John Cena is appearing in the MacGruber movie!) and The Big Show. It was the biggest showing for R-Truth, who looks like he’ll be pushed again, which is good because I’ve always thought he was talented.

The Michaels story was most interesting. Michaels was eliminated by Batista. Michaels did his thing where he’s on the apron, and turned around and there was Batista, who hit him. Michaels, who has better timing than almost any other wrestler in history, turned to make it look like he was supposed to grab the top rope, but slipped and ended up on the floor.

This was an amazing moment.

This looked so much like it could have been a miscue. In fact, it would be harder to pull this off as a work than it would have been to have it be a shoot. Shawn flipped out, first just on the mats outside, and then he got up and started Superkicking refs and flipping out. It was awesome, but there was that moment when I wasn’t sure.

Still, it made for great storytelling, Michaels losing his chance to get at the Undertaker and so much. I think they’re working on another angle to make it all work out that it’s Michaels vs. Undertaker, and I’m betting Michaels gets the win.

The last was the return of Edge. He was a surprise, which was nice, and he had the full beard. You can’t argue with that. He won the Rumble, eliminating John Cena. That means he gets the shot at Mania, but we’re still not sure at whom, and there’s another thought that has crossed many people’s minds. Edge and Jericho have been programmed together, and that’s been the talk for ages. They could find a way to get the shot at Mania off of Edge, perhaps having Jericho cost him a match, and then there’d be a good Jericho-Edge storyline.

The Rumble was the best, but it told three excellent stories. The 1992 Rumble was great, as was the 1998 Rumble, which I was at! This was a great performance from Shawn Michaels, a strong performance from Punk and Edge giving a great showing himself. I was happy.

The Observer Awards were released this week and congrats go out to Wrestler of the Year Chris Jericho. He also won Best on Interviews. Interestingly, the Michaels vs. Undertaker match from Mania won Match of the Year, and CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy won Feud of the Year. Brock Lesnar won Best MMA Fighter and also Best Box Office Draw. Good year.

Sadly, we lost Jack Brisco on Monday. He was a two-time NWA World Champion and a legend. He had some heart surgery recently. He had classic matches with Jerry Lawler, Dory Funk Jr. and Terry Funk and ever so many others. I seem to remember Flair vs. Brisco being a big deal when I was very young.

That’s all for now!

Chris Garcia

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