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Wrestling Today's Date:

Falls Count Anywhere


Chris is seepy.
Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and the seats were high, the drinks were expensive, but the show was fun.

RAW/SmackDown! Supershow
This is another case of a lot of wrestling wearing an audience down. This used to happen all the time when they would tape five or six weeks worth of shows in one night. The crowd got more and more burned out as the night went on.

We opened with what I assume is a dark match between Tajiri and the WWE debut of Psicosis. Psicosis got a good entry pop, so folks must have recognized him. He also had his mask on and a really gay cape. They had a match that was solid and entertaining. The crowd was pretty into Tajiri. They worked a good match, with Psicosis doing all his old WCW spots. I hope they bring him in, as I always liked his style. True, I’d rather see him on SmackDown!, but what are you gonna do?

HHH came out and talked about being champ, giving Orton a concussion and then introduced Batista. Batista came out to a good pop, saying that he was right and the time is now for Batista’s shot at HHH at WrestleMania. They then showed the JBL talking about Batista, trying to get the audience to think that Batista is going to jump to SmackDown!. HHH said that JBL wasn’t going to ruin Batista’s destiny. HHH also called JBL Foghorn Leghorn. They really should have done an in the ring angle with JBL coming out to confront HHH and Batista. They were all in the same building, they may as well have done something with it.

Shelton Benjamin quickly beat Simon Dean with his leg lariat. There wasn’t much to this match, and Simon did some talking after and then got a Stinger Splash and a T-Bone for his trouble. Simon’s best line: “The only reason Shelton Benjamin beat me is because he used my Simon System, available everywhere!”

Eric Bischoff was accused of being the one who put on the JBL promo in an attempt to get a trade with Teddy Long. At this point, I was certain that HHH was behind it, trying to get Batista to jump to SmackDown! so he wouldn’t have to wrestle him at Mania.

Christy was shooting T-Shirts at the audience when Edge interrupted and came into the ring. He said that Christy was embarrassing him by shooting WrestleMania 21 t-shirts into the crowd when he came so close to winning the Rumble and going to the Main Event. She cowered, and not convincingly. Mean Matt Pritchard then pointed out that there was a GIANT WrestleMania 21 sign hanging over the arena. He must have already beat up the ring crew for that one.

Yeah, we'd rather have a picture of Christy here, too...
Shawn Michaels came out and grabbed a mic which wasn’t really working, so he had to change and get another one. He then said that he haad been embarrassed by losing to Edge and then getting eliminated by Kurt Angle. HBK then said that he pulled double duty at the Rumble, so he would pull double duty and take on Edge again. Edge said to forget it, and said for Shawn to keep his word and shake his hand. Edge extended his hand and Shawn gave him a Superkick that looked ridiculously stiff. Not a half-bad segment from the stands.

Maven vs. Hurricane wasn’t a very good match, though Hurricane obviously tried, but the real highlight of the match was Maven’s new finisher. I’m going to call it the Media Maven. You grab a guy’s head from behind, then you jump and bring his back down onto your knees. It looks damn devastating. Maven as a heel doesn’t get how to work, but at least he has a good finisher now.

Gene Snitsky does a backstage vignette with the ladies. He also seemed to appreciate one of their shoes. He was supposedly looking for someone in the Women’s Locker room, meaning Trish, obviously.

Bischoff and Theodore R. Long do a segment where Teddy tells Bisch that he made a tremendous offer to Batista to jump, but says that he wasn’t behind the JBL promo playing on the big screen. Teddy was over pretty good in the arena. He also announces that they are doing the Barbed Wire Steel Cage match at No Way Out with The Big Show against JBL.

Stacey and Randy Orton (who I have heard conflicting rumors that they are actually and are actually not a real-life couple) did a backstage bit about Randy’s concussion from the Rumble match against HHH. She wished him luck.

The Canadian Chris Connection took on La Resistance in a match that I rather liked. It ended up a Double Disqualification. Jericho and Benoit worked pretty hard and it wasn’t great, but they got their good stuff in. The ending was required, since they can’t turn the belts again and they are trying to do a Benoit vs. Jericho feud again, and they faced off in the back, each blaming the other for not winning the belts. Jericho and Benoit did win the belts in San Jose in 2001 when HHH tore his quad.

Muhammad Hassan came out and complained that he was ganged-up on at the Rumble. He then invited any American he wanted to come and try to shut him up. This brought out Sgt. Slaughter. He got a good pop and almost immediately got the Cobra Clutch. Why was he a part of Team G.I. Joe if his finisher is the COBRA Clutch? Sarge had the advantage for a while and then he did the job. Hassan was good here, but they didn’t give Daivari enough mic time.

They announce some matches for Japan, including La Rez taking on Regal and Tajiri for the belts, HHH vs. Edge for the belt and Jericho vs. Benoit in a submissions match. Mad Mike Flores suggested that instead, they should have Tajiri win the belt from HHH for one night only. That would have been sweet.

Orton and Michaels beat HHH and Flair in a long match that I thought was the best of the night. Flair took about 5 big backdrops, including one on the floor. HHH and Shawn worked really well together. The two of them have great matches and they should be given another feud with the loser having to leave RAW. That would be awesome. The match went a long time and Flair took a lot of punishment. Batista was sent to the back, but on his way, he was smiling like he wanted to get himself thrown out. A couple of ref bumps allowed an RKO for nothing, but Orton seemed to knock himself silly again. Hunter goes for the Pedigree, but Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music to break it up. Edge runs in to spear Michaels, but he moves and sends him into a standing HHH. Dazed Orton then gets an arm over HHH and the pin for the win.

Oh, Billy...
Kane vs. Gene Snitsky in a cage. This was a slow and plodding match that did nothing for me until Trish came down. She seemed to be rooting for Snitsky. Kane tried to leave, but Trish went to close the door on him. He caught it and dragged Trish into the ring to chokeslam her. Snitsky broke it up. He then tried to exit, but thought better and pulled the door off its hinges. Then he brought the door into the ring, but Kane took the advantage and dropped him on it crotch first. He then chokeslammed Snitsky on the cage door for the pin.

This half was OK, but not the best RAW I’ve ever been to. The ladies came to the ring and shot some t-shirts and just looked lovely. The set was changed in about 15 minutes.

John Cena came out and said that he had the Rumble won, but gave Batista props for his win. Cena got a good reaction coming out. Teddy Long came out and said that there would be an eight man tourney for the Mania title shot. If Batista jumped to SD!, it would be a three-way match for the belt. This brought out JBL, who demanded that the Tournament be stricken. He was great here. JBL sure can talk. When it was announced that Orlando Jordan would be wrestling John Cena, JBL smiled and said it was OK because Jordan would win the Tourney.

Kurt Angle did the HomeBoy Challenge. While they should have brought out Daniel Puder, they instead had Nunzio come out. They like to jerk around home crowd faves. Their match was short and not good. The crowd straight, pure hated this one.

All night, there were loud Eddie chants. Us Mexicans like us some Eddie.

Mark Jindraik and Rey Mysterio wrestled in one of those matches where Mysterio makes a bigger guy look good and does a smart match with the size difference. I really appreciate the fact that Rey is getting a shot in the tournament against Kurt Angle from Japan next week and I’m betting Angle will lose and Rey will advance. Rey got the win here with a roll-up in a decent match.

The Big Show took on the Bashems and beat both the Tag Team Champs. This wasn’t a great idea as it kinda buried the champs, but Big Show looked like a star.

Now, they didn’t do any SmackDown! vignettes for the crowd, but I’m guessing they’ll explain why Team Angle came out to help Rene Dupree against The Undertaker. The match wasn’t good, and the finish, with Reigns holding on to Undertaker’s foot to cause a Double Countout, was very lame. The crowd was not pleased.

El Super-Over Eddie Guerrero lost to Booker T in a tournament match. This wasn’t a great match, but it was long and not dull. The crowd loved Eddie, but no one seemed to be booing Booker, save for the time he did a Spineroonie and then the finish. Eddie hasn’t been up to the level he usually is at since late August. He did come out in a beautiful car this week, though. After the match, Booker beat on Eddie to turn himself heel with the crowd, but Eddie got a comeback and got to give The Book a Frog Splash to send folks home happy.

Except, the show wasn’t over.

Teddy Long came out and told folks to stick around as JBL and Orlando Jordan were taking on The Big Show in another Handicapped Match. JBL did some good mic work, saying that he was hung over from partying the night before. The match was really nothing, and the Big Show got the pin on Orlando.

I’d say it was a fun night, though I was totally burnt by the end. Too long a taping.

Royal Rumble In Brief
The Royal Rumble had to be watched in highlight, fast-forward form since the show went so long last night.

The opener featured Shawn Michaels taking on Edge in a really good match. Edge knows how to work as a heel, and here he did an excellent job. Shawn is so good. He’s a natural Hall of Famer and he just works so beautifully well, no matter what the style. The finish, with Edge holding the tights and the ropes for the win, was not as strong as it would have been had they just let him get a clean pin.

They did a series of bits with Flair and Guerrero where Guerrero stole Flair’s number and wallet. This was funny. Guerrero and Flair should work together more often.

I fast-forwarded through all the Heidenreich and Snitsky stuff. This is all you need to know: Kane and Undertaker vs. Snitsky and Heidenreich at WrestleMania.

JBL vs. Angle vs. The Big Show was an OK match at best. The Big Show didn’t do as well as he usually does with Angle, though he is a very realistic monster. JBL got tackled through the barricade by the Big Show, and he was about to get taken out on a stretcher when Orlando Jordan put him back in the ring and he got the pin on Angle with the Clothesline.

Yeah, this should beat out the last of my integrity...
I watched about half of Randy Orton getting pinned by HHH. HHH gave Orton nothing to work with. It was a weak match that I really feel hurt Orton seriously. They did the Orton got a concussion thing, which will probably play a role in his storyline for the next month or so. Really lame.

The Royal Rumble was solid with an interesting set of storylines. Guerrero and Benoit started together. I couldn’t think of a better pair to open. They worked a bit and then Daniel Puder shows up. He announces that the crowd is about to witness history. Guerrero and Benoit then take turns beating him to high holy hell. They chop the meat out of Puder. Number four is Holly, who also beats on Puder before sending him out. This was the highlight of the early portion of the match.

Things sorta swam along for while, with some really good stuff going on. Edge enters as number seven. It wasn’t until Muhammad Hassan came out that another bit spot happened. Muhammad complained, then all eight guy decided to beat him down and toss him out. Nice.

More good stuff and then the Angle and Shawn Michaels situation happened. Angle is hurt, as usual, so they wanted to have him in for a short period. They had him eliminated pretty fast, including having him and Shawn work together a little bit. Then Angle returned and eliminated Shawn Michaels and put him in the Ankle Lock. Nice way to start a new feud.

Paul London, in the most memorable bump of the night, got tossed by Gene Snitsky, looking like he landed on his head on the outside. It was an angle, but still, it looked amazing.

Edge was eliminated after more than 40 minutes. That left Cena and Batista. They traded moves for a bit and that was a really strong period. Then, they both went out. This brought out Vince, who hurts his knee sliding in. He ordered the match restarted, and showing how much faith they have in Cena, had Batista eliminate him right quick.

Even in fast-forward mode, this was a really good show…especially since I didn’t have to put up with UT and Heidenreich.

That’s all for today. Friday will feature all the things you’ve come to love.

Talk about today's column in the forums!

Chris Garcia

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