Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name
is Chris and the seats were high, the drinks were expensive,
but the show was fun.
This is another case of a lot of wrestling wearing an audience
down. This used to happen all the time when they would tape
five or six weeks worth of shows in one night. The crowd
got more and more burned out as the night went on.
We opened with what I assume is a dark match
between Tajiri and the WWE debut of Psicosis. Psicosis got
a good entry pop, so folks must have recognized him. He
also had his mask on and a really gay cape. They had a match
that was solid and entertaining. The crowd was pretty into
Tajiri. They worked a good match, with Psicosis doing all
his old WCW spots. I hope they bring him in, as I always
liked his style. True, I’d rather see him on SmackDown!,
but what are you gonna do?
HHH came out and talked about being champ,
giving Orton a concussion and then introduced Batista. Batista
came out to a good pop, saying that he was right and the
time is now for Batista’s shot at HHH at WrestleMania.
They then showed the JBL talking about Batista, trying to
get the audience to think that Batista is going to jump
to SmackDown!. HHH said that JBL wasn’t going to ruin
Batista’s destiny. HHH also called JBL Foghorn Leghorn.
They really should have done an in the ring angle with JBL
coming out to confront HHH and Batista. They were all in
the same building, they may as well have done something
Shelton Benjamin quickly beat Simon Dean
with his leg lariat. There wasn’t much to this match,
and Simon did some talking after and then got a Stinger
Splash and a T-Bone for his trouble. Simon’s best
line: “The only reason Shelton Benjamin beat me is
because he used my Simon System, available everywhere!”
Eric Bischoff was accused of being the one
who put on the JBL promo in an attempt to get a trade with
Teddy Long. At this point, I was certain that HHH was behind
it, trying to get Batista to jump to SmackDown! so he wouldn’t
have to wrestle him at Mania.
was shooting T-Shirts at the audience when Edge interrupted
and came into the ring. He said that Christy was embarrassing
him by shooting WrestleMania 21 t-shirts into the crowd
when he came so close to winning the Rumble and going to
the Main Event. She cowered, and not convincingly. Mean
Matt Pritchard then pointed out that there was a GIANT WrestleMania
21 sign hanging over the arena. He must have already beat
up the ring crew for that one.
Michaels came out and grabbed a mic which wasn’t really
working, so he had to change and get another one. He then
said that he haad been embarrassed by losing to Edge and
then getting eliminated by Kurt Angle. HBK then said that
he pulled double duty at the Rumble, so he would pull double
duty and take on Edge again. Edge said to forget it, and
said for Shawn to keep his word and shake his hand. Edge
extended his hand and Shawn gave him a Superkick that looked
ridiculously stiff. Not a half-bad segment from the stands.
we'd rather have a picture of Christy here, too...
Maven vs. Hurricane wasn’t a very
good match, though Hurricane obviously tried, but the real
highlight of the match was Maven’s new finisher. I’m
going to call it the Media Maven. You grab a guy’s
head from behind, then you jump and bring his back down
onto your knees. It looks damn devastating. Maven as a heel
doesn’t get how to work, but at least he has a good
Snitsky does a backstage vignette with the ladies. He also
seemed to appreciate one of their shoes. He was supposedly
looking for someone in the Women’s Locker room, meaning
Bischoff and Theodore R. Long do a segment
where Teddy tells Bisch that he made a tremendous offer
to Batista to jump, but says that he wasn’t behind
the JBL promo playing on the big screen. Teddy was over
pretty good in the arena. He also announces that they are
doing the Barbed Wire Steel Cage match at No Way Out with
The Big Show against JBL.
Stacey and Randy Orton (who I have heard
conflicting rumors that they are actually and are actually
not a real-life couple) did a backstage bit about Randy’s
concussion from the Rumble match against HHH. She wished
The Canadian Chris Connection took on La
Resistance in a match that I rather liked. It ended up a
Double Disqualification. Jericho and Benoit worked pretty
hard and it wasn’t great, but they got their good
stuff in. The ending was required, since they can’t
turn the belts again and they are trying to do a Benoit
vs. Jericho feud again, and they faced off in the back,
each blaming the other for not winning the belts. Jericho
and Benoit did win the belts in San Jose in 2001 when HHH
tore his quad.
Muhammad Hassan came out and complained
that he was ganged-up on at the Rumble. He then invited
any American he wanted to come and try to shut him up. This
brought out Sgt. Slaughter. He got a good pop and almost
immediately got the Cobra Clutch. Why was he a part of Team
G.I. Joe if his finisher is the COBRA Clutch? Sarge had
the advantage for a while and then he did the job. Hassan
was good here, but they didn’t give Daivari enough
They announce some matches for Japan, including
La Rez taking on Regal and Tajiri for the belts, HHH vs.
Edge for the belt and Jericho vs. Benoit in a submissions
match. Mad Mike Flores suggested that instead, they should
have Tajiri win the belt from HHH for one night only. That
would have been sweet.
Orton and Michaels beat HHH and Flair in
a long match that I thought was the best of the night. Flair
took about 5 big backdrops, including one on the floor.
HHH and Shawn worked really well together. The two of them
have great matches and they should be given another feud
with the loser having to leave RAW. That would be awesome.
The match went a long time and Flair took a lot of punishment.
Batista was sent to the back, but on his way, he was smiling
like he wanted to get himself thrown out. A couple of ref
bumps allowed an RKO for nothing, but Orton seemed to knock
himself silly again. Hunter goes for the Pedigree, but Michaels
hits Sweet Chin Music to break it up. Edge runs in to spear
Michaels, but he moves and sends him into a standing HHH.
Dazed Orton then gets an arm over HHH and the pin for the
Kane vs. Gene Snitsky in a cage. This was
a slow and plodding match that did nothing for me until
Trish came down. She seemed to be rooting for Snitsky. Kane
tried to leave, but Trish went to close the door on him.
He caught it and dragged Trish into the ring to chokeslam
her. Snitsky broke it up. He then tried to exit, but thought
better and pulled the door off its hinges. Then he brought
the door into the ring, but Kane took the advantage and
dropped him on it crotch first. He then chokeslammed Snitsky
on the cage door for the pin.
This half was OK, but not the best RAW I’ve
ever been to. The ladies came to the ring and shot some
t-shirts and just looked lovely. The set was changed in
about 15 minutes.
John Cena came out and said that he had
the Rumble won, but gave Batista props for his win. Cena
got a good reaction coming out. Teddy Long came out and
said that there would be an eight man tourney for the Mania
title shot. If Batista jumped to SD!, it would be a three-way
match for the belt. This brought out JBL, who demanded that
the Tournament be stricken. He was great here. JBL sure
can talk. When it was announced that Orlando Jordan would
be wrestling John Cena, JBL smiled and said it was OK because
Jordan would win the Tourney.
Kurt Angle did the HomeBoy Challenge. While
they should have brought out Daniel Puder, they instead
had Nunzio come out. They like to jerk around home crowd
faves. Their match was short and not good. The crowd straight,
pure hated this one.
All night, there were loud Eddie chants.
Us Mexicans like us some Eddie.
Mark Jindraik and Rey Mysterio wrestled
in one of those matches where Mysterio makes a bigger guy
look good and does a smart match with the size difference.
I really appreciate the fact that Rey is getting a shot
in the tournament against Kurt Angle from Japan next week
and I’m betting Angle will lose and Rey will advance.
Rey got the win here with a roll-up in a decent match.
The Big Show took on the Bashems and beat
both the Tag Team Champs. This wasn’t a great idea
as it kinda buried the champs, but Big Show looked like
Now, they didn’t do any SmackDown!
vignettes for the crowd, but I’m guessing they’ll
explain why Team Angle came out to help Rene Dupree against
The Undertaker. The match wasn’t good, and the finish,
with Reigns holding on to Undertaker’s foot to cause
a Double Countout, was very lame. The crowd was not pleased.
El Super-Over Eddie Guerrero lost to Booker
T in a tournament match. This wasn’t a great match,
but it was long and not dull. The crowd loved Eddie, but
no one seemed to be booing Booker, save for the time he
did a Spineroonie and then the finish. Eddie hasn’t
been up to the level he usually is at since late August.
He did come out in a beautiful car this week, though. After
the match, Booker beat on Eddie to turn himself heel with
the crowd, but Eddie got a comeback and got to give The
Book a Frog Splash to send folks home happy.
Except, the show wasn’t over.
Teddy Long came out and told folks to stick
around as JBL and Orlando Jordan were taking on The Big
Show in another Handicapped Match. JBL did some good mic
work, saying that he was hung over from partying the night
before. The match was really nothing, and the Big Show got
the pin on Orlando.
I’d say it was a fun night, though
I was totally burnt by the end. Too long a taping.
Rumble In Brief
The Royal Rumble had to be watched in highlight, fast-forward
form since the show went so long last night.
The opener featured Shawn Michaels taking
on Edge in a really good match. Edge knows how to work as
a heel, and here he did an excellent job. Shawn is so good.
He’s a natural Hall of Famer and he just works so
beautifully well, no matter what the style. The finish,
with Edge holding the tights and the ropes for the win,
was not as strong as it would have been had they just let
him get a clean pin.
They did a series of bits with Flair and
Guerrero where Guerrero stole Flair’s number and wallet.
This was funny. Guerrero and Flair should work together
I fast-forwarded through all the Heidenreich
and Snitsky stuff. This is all you need to know: Kane and
Undertaker vs. Snitsky and Heidenreich at WrestleMania.
JBL vs. Angle vs. The Big Show was an OK
match at best. The Big Show didn’t do as well as he
usually does with Angle, though he is a very realistic monster.
JBL got tackled through the barricade by the Big Show, and
he was about to get taken out on a stretcher when Orlando
Jordan put him back in the ring and he got the pin on Angle
with the Clothesline.
I watched about half of Randy Orton getting
pinned by HHH. HHH gave Orton nothing to work with. It was
a weak match that I really feel hurt Orton seriously. They
did the Orton got a concussion thing, which will probably
play a role in his storyline for the next month or so. Really
this should beat out the last of my integrity...
The Royal Rumble was solid with an interesting
set of storylines. Guerrero and Benoit started together.
I couldn’t think of a better pair to open. They worked
a bit and then Daniel Puder shows up. He announces that
the crowd is about to witness history. Guerrero and Benoit
then take turns beating him to high holy hell. They chop
the meat out of Puder. Number four is Holly, who also beats
on Puder before sending him out. This was the highlight
of the early portion of the match.
Things sorta swam along for while, with
some really good stuff going on. Edge enters as number seven.
It wasn’t until Muhammad Hassan came out that another
bit spot happened. Muhammad complained, then all eight guy
decided to beat him down and toss him out. Nice.
More good stuff and then the Angle and Shawn
Michaels situation happened. Angle is hurt, as usual, so
they wanted to have him in for a short period. They had
him eliminated pretty fast, including having him and Shawn
work together a little bit. Then Angle returned and eliminated
Shawn Michaels and put him in the Ankle Lock. Nice way to
start a new feud.
Paul London, in the most memorable bump
of the night, got tossed by Gene Snitsky, looking like he
landed on his head on the outside. It was an angle, but
still, it looked amazing.
Edge was eliminated after more than 40 minutes.
That left Cena and Batista. They traded moves for a bit
and that was a really strong period. Then, they both went
out. This brought out Vince, who hurts his knee sliding
in. He ordered the match restarted, and showing how much
faith they have in Cena, had Batista eliminate him right
Even in fast-forward mode, this was a really
good show…especially since I didn’t have to
put up with UT and Heidenreich.
all for today. Friday will feature all the things you’ve
come to love.
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