Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name
is Chris and the Jivetones are no more…
Christones live on!
This was an awful show. There were some moments, but all
in all, it just failed to create any real excitement. They
are going into one of the big three Pay-Per-Views and there
is no heat on any of the programs.
The show opened with a review of the Joy
angles of the previous two weeks. This showed that at least
they are paying attention and keeping this angle somewhat
logical. Theodore R. Long said that Kurt Angle would have
immunity until he got in the ring to apologize to Joy Giovanni,
and after that, it was open season on Kurt. Big Show parked
himself in a quite unfortunate folding chair in front of
the entrance, waiting to pounce on Kurt.
first match was The Bashems defending against Booker T and
Eddie Guerrero. This was a very good match that got enough
time to build and allowed everyone to show they got, but
it also had a weak ending. The Bashems used the Eddie Guerrero
trick against him, doing the ‘I got KOed by the belt’
gambit, which led the ref to disqualify Eddie. But, it should
be noted, EDDIE IS A FACE!!!!! That sort of thing should
only be done to punish the heels for their tactics, not
to screw the faces.
and Booker argued, and they started teasing a Guerrero heel
turn, which would be a serious mistake, and I doubt the
Hispanic crowd would stop cheering him anyhow. Just like
the Memphis crowd would not stop cheering the Fabulous Ones.
Eddie was about to walk out on Booker when The Book was
jumped. Eddie waited a bit, then came into the ring to make
the save. They gave Orlando Jordan a Scissors Kick before
Eddie hit the Frog Splash.
Akio took on Scotty 2 Hotty in a Rumble
qualifying match. Why is Scotty given the win? Seniority?
Akio tried, but Scotty is so banged up that he can’t
go along anymore. Akio also wasn’t terribly crisp,
looking a bit like RVD on a bad day. Still, he did an awesome
variation on the flying headscissors. Not a very good match.
did an interview while wearing a Montreal Canadien’s
jersey. Sadly, this actually set back NHL and their Player’s
Union negotiations. Cena beat Rene Dupree in the Royal Rumble
qualifier. They are over-using the missing finishers and
then hitting one for the finish sequence. Here it looked
good and worked with the crowd, but it’s going to
hurt the product pretty soon. Where’s Patterson?!?
Rey Mysterio took it to Chavo in another
decent match. Rey flew all over the place. They did a great
segment where they did three or four reversals before Rey
hit a roll-up. Chavo got the GoriBomb, which is a personal
favourite. They didn’t go as long as I would have
liked, but this was solid. I’d still like to see Chavito
in the Rumble, and my bet is that they’ll do a “Second
Chance” mini-Rumble next week and the winner gets
in. My guess would be Chavo or Dupree in that case.
Angle made his way through the crowd, bypassing The Big
Show’s stake-out, and called Joy Giovanni, who was
looking damn HOT, to the ring. Kurt then read an apology,
which wasn’t great, and the crowd didn’t seem
to enjoy it or really get the bit that Kurt was obviously
doing. Kurt then said that he would take his lumps and called
the Big Show out. Show came to the ring, and Kurt scurried
off, meeting JBL and his cabinet on the ramp.
this pose alone, Angle should get Austin's film
Weber was carrying the belt and looked awesome as well.
Seriously, I really think that she could be a serious manager.
She’s better than Trish was at this stage of her career.
JBL and Kurt then shook hands and the Cabinet and Team Angle
attacked, though Big Show held the ring for a while, when
they went one at a time. Kurt managed to sneak behind Big
Show and give him the Angle Slam and JBL hit him with a
chair to get the blood from the Show.
This was a lame episode. Still, there may
be some bright spot coming with the Rumble shaking things
up and maybe getting the belt off of JBL.
Sadly, the wrestling world lost another one this past week
with the death of Pistol Pez Whatley. Pez was a regular
in the Carolinas back in the 1980s and was a decent little
wrestler. I must have him wrestling on two dozen different
tapes. The thing he’s probably best known for, and
that he was least proud of, was his spot in the tag team
the Jivetones. I’d say he was about 55 at the time
of his death.
The Press Conference with Austin and McMahon
was to announce a three-picture deal for Steve-o. WWE films
will be producing them and the script for the first one
looks half-way decent.
No story of the old times would be complete with a mention
of the old hookers. No, not those kinds of hookers, though
they were certainly around and there was more than one wrassler
who had become entangled in their web, but the kind who
were specifically there to make sure that no one could collect
on the big money for winning matches at carnivals.
ladder of acceptance was pretty solid. The bottom were the
journeymen, the guys who were average workers, often used
as bait to get the stronger boys in the audience to try
and challenge. Above them were the shooters, the tougher
guys who knew hold after hold and could take most challenges.
The top of the line were the Hookers. They couldn’t
be beaten, at least not by normal humans. Ad Santel was
a hooker, as was Ed Strangler Lewis. Perhaps the last of
the real hookers was Lou Thesz.
Lou Thesz was born Lazos Tijza in Hungary
in 1916 and was a major star by the age of twenty-one, when
he won his first world title. Strangler Lewis and Ad Santel
both helped train Thesz in the way of hooking, using moves
that were designed to break bones. They taught him well
and that combined with the fact that Lou was a serious physical
specimen led to no one messing with Thesz, and that was
why he was always champ.
did you need the World Title on a guy like Thesz? Well,
the reason starts in the 1920s. There was a powerful syndicate
of promoters who controlled the World Title which traced
its lineage back to George Hackenschmidt, Tom Jennings and
Frank Gotch. In the 1920s, rival promoters started trying
to find ways to steal the title. They used in-ring double-crosses
with annoying frequency. Stanilaus Zybysko shot on Wayne
Munn to win the World Title from him in 1925.
caused major repercussions, since there went a lot of people
who could take old Stan at that point and he was well passed
the age where he shouldn’t have that he should have
been such a troublesome contender. Dick Shikat did a much
more complex trick to win the World Title from Danno O’Mahoney
in Boston. These were typical for the day, but once they
put the belt on Thesz, nobody tried that crap again.
being such a top-flight hooker, he threw his weight around.
If there was someone he didn’t want to job to, he
didn’t job to them. He chose the guy who would take
the title from him, choosing Dick Hutton, who failed to
draw nearly as well as Thesz.
big issue came in the 1960s, though it had roots back in
Boy Buddy Rogers was the next big thing. It was easy to
see that he was going to be the next major star on a National
Scale. There was talk of making him champ from his first
match. He wasn’t a great wrestler, but he was a legendary
showman and he sold a lot of tickets. While driving to the
first of many matches that Thesz would wrestle against him,
Rogers asked why they had to split the gate with “that
fat old bastard”, referring to Special Ref Ed Strangler
Lewis. This annoyed Thesz, who then refused to job to the
up-and-comer, much like Steve Austin refusing to do the
right thing and put over Brock Lesnar.
the years, the two had a serious hatred, and even though
that was the case, Rogers got the World Title, winning it
from Pat O’Conner in Chicago in 1961. In 1962, Vince
McMahon Sr. made a deal to set up Capital Sports as its
own territory, to leave the NWA and take Rogers with him.
They agreed to drop the title, and the NWA sent Lou Thesz
in. Thesz, in his mid-40s by this point, actually went up
to Rogers before the match and said “we can do this
the easy way, or the hard way.” Luckily, Rogers chose
the easy way and jobbed clean on his way out.
This just doesn’t happen much anymore.
Yeah, we’ve seen at least one double-cross in the
last ten years (and there has been talk of a couple of others
in MMA competitions), but nowadays there are still hooker-types.
Kurt Angle would have certainly been a hooker back in the
day, and so would Tazz. So would UFC guys like Frank Shamrock,
Chuck Liddle and Dan Sevren. Times have changed, mostly
due to the amount of money know available easily goes over
the prestige of holding a world title.
all for this week. I’ll be bringing you a brand new
set of Falls on Tuesday, with a look at the Royal Rumble.
about today's column in the forums!