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Falls Count Anywhere


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Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and the year is young.

Well, they certainly started things off right. Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero had a really good match against one another where Eddie was playing slightly more heel than usual. Here’s my guess, and it’s not a great one, but they’ll turn Eddie right before Cena wins the title (WrestleMania, most likely) and have them feud over it.

The match was strong, with Eddie getting to do some power moves for once. He worked Rey on the mat, mostly with a hammerlock that he bridged over. Rey sold that perfectly. Eddie tried to do the ‘I got hit with the belt’ thing, but the ref wasn’t buyin’ it. The finishing sequence was great. Rey went for a 619 but missed. Eddie then caught him in a small package which Rey then reversed for the pin. Both guys got great reactions, with chants for both of them. I’d say the best SmackDown! match in a good long while, but having it as the opener is a little too Nitro 1996 for my taste.

Carlito Caribbean Cool came out with a petition to get Theodore R. Long booted from the General Managership. He tried to get the fans at ringside to sign while the Funaki vs. Akio match was taking place. This was a solid Cruiserweight match. Akio is pretty good and underrated. Funaki is really good and way underrated. They had a solid match with excellent flow. Funaki got a win by hitting the Swinging DDT for the pin. Carlito tried to get my lovely Joy Giovanni to sign, but she wouldn’t and he did the ‘not gonna spit on you, but then I will’ apple thing to her. She looks good, even covered in half-chewed apple.

Paul Heyman came back for one night only and begged Teddy Long to change the stipulation. This was a really good interview that led to Heidenreich and Heyman vs. the Undertaker in a handicapped match.

Amy Weber came on to Kurt Angle, offering her services to him as an image consultant. She’s so freakin’ hot that Kurt broke out of his usual shell and agreed to meet her later.

Daniel Puder, making the most of his heel turn, mocked Torrie Wilson and Miss Jacky backstage. He hasn’t got what it takes to play heel yet, and they are missing a big thing by not taking him off TV, holding him until it’s time for the Kurt Angle Hometown Challenge when they’re in San Jose. He did work over Jacky, saying his favorite part of her Tough Enough was when she was begging her boyfriend to stay with her after she cheated on him. That was good stuff.

Ladies Love Cool Kenzo...
Kenzo and John Cena had a Battle Rap. This was awful, save for Hiroko doing some singing which made me laugh. I still like Kenzo, since he can be really funny in small doses. Cena was way over with the crowd.

RVD took on Doug Bashem in a little match that wasn’t too bad. RVD controlled things with a nice Moonsault, nice spinning kicks and a monkey flip. They did the Bashems switch and a Powerbomb earned them the win.

Kurt Angle entered Amy Weber’s dressing room and undressed since she was in the shower. It turned out that it was Joy who was showering. She ran and got the Big Show. Big Show gave her a little kiss and chased Angle to the ring. Show managed to hold off Jindraik and Luther Reigns and Angle hit Show with a chair. This led to Show punching Angle out of the ring. JBL’s cabinet was shown backstage and Amy removed the fake sign that said Amy to reveal that it was actually Joy’s dressing room. I thought that was a pretty clever angle, though I know others hated it and the crowd wasn’t too into it.

The Undertaker had a long match with Heidenreich and Heyman - painfully long. They did a strange finish where UT called for a casket, which arrived and then magically opened. Heidenreich ran off through the crowd after tagging in Paul Heyman. Heyman then took a Tombstone and got put into one of the caskets.

I liked the show, less than RAW, but more than usual. I still think they are missing a great opportunity with Puder by turning him heel and not following up on the Angle incident.

No word on Brock, though there is a lot of talk. The WWE is concerned that his appearance at the New Japan Tokyo Dome show may have broken the terms of the No Compete agreement the two sides came to when Brock left. There is really good money in Japan for Brock and probably for Sable too. The two are set to get married on the island of Palau, where Antonio Inoki had one of his famous Jungle Island Death matches. There is some thought that Inoki is setting up Brock with monies so that when he is free of his no-compete, he’ll quickly jump to Inoki’s fold. Supposedly, Pride is offering the most money, but K1 is offering the easiest schedule.

Hey now, a TNA boy that they were planning on giving a really good push to just got himself arrested on drug charges. Hector Garza, one of the best of the high flyers, got booked for holding steroids at Houston Airport. There’s been talk that he was actually using them to recoup from an injury, but that’s not 100%.

RAW did a 3.4 or so in the ratings. A really good show, but the ratings were down. That might have to do with a lot of things, but most likely it was just the last episode of Monday Night Football.

Dusty Rhodes, the American Dream. The name itself conjures up images of the big man and the odd splotch on the side of his belly-welly. The guy was a big draw around the country in the seventies and eighties. He was also the booker for Jim Crocket Promotions from 1985 to 1988 or so. He was famous for the “Dusty Finish” where folks would get to pop for a face winning the main event but then it would be overturned later. He relied on this finish a lot in his years, and sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t, but overuse of it killed the company and forced the sale to Turner. There was one turn that I thought a lot of as a kid and when I rewatched everything, it made me realize that as a fan, my tastes have really changed.

Who wants gum?
Dusty had won the NWA US Championship from Lex Luger at Starrcade and then been stripped of it when he attacked the commish. A tourney was held, while Dusty was wrestling as the Midnight Rider, and Barry Windham came out with the belt. The two were set for a big match at The Great American Bash in Baltimore. Dusty was a heavy favorite to win the belt, and the two had some good stuff going on before the match.

The match itself wasn’t very good, although Windham kept trying to drag a good one out of Dusty. Rhodes seemed to have the match won when Ronnie Garvin came to his side. Ronnie had been a face for a good long time, having won the World title in 1987 for a reign that most say was a tragic failure and just a way to get Flair a little time off. He lost it back to Flair at the previous Starrcade, and Garvin was sorta flailing a bit ever since. Garvin came to the ring and KOed Dusty, allowing Windham to get the win.

The big problem with this was that Garvin had no heat, and this didn’t exactly help him much. They got a fairly good stunned audience shock, since no one saw it coming. HE did have a couple of matches with Dusty, but Ron left for the slightly greener, to him at least, pastures of the AWA by September of 1988. He would be in the WWF before too long too.

This was another example of Dusty booking gone bad. Yeah, they could do a good turn, at least good to the arena crowd, but there was always something keeping it from fully working. The Barry Windham turn that happened in March of 1988 had been a classic, and trying to do the same thing with Garvin was novel, but it fell well short.

Too bad, as this was the last time that one of my faves ever got a serious push.

That’s all for this week. Next week will bring more.

Talk about today's column in the forums!

Chris Garcia

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